This has got to be the cutest thing we've seen this week! This viral video of a 4-year-old boy explaining emotions to his mum is living proof it's never too early to teach our children about feelings.
As a millennial mum of three, I think that as we progress in our parenting styles, evolving from the strict authoritarian to the gentle yet firm authoritative, I'd like to believe that our children are reaping the positive effects and learning more about becoming aware of their feelings and managing their emotions.
For instance, I'm so amazed at how my 4-year-old boy tells me, "You're not listening to me," whenever I would ask him why he's mad or upset. My eight-year-old daughter would also calmly tell me, with zero tantrums, whatever I did that made her sad.
We could only hope that was the case when we were kids. During our time, any form of responding or answering back would be deemed "rude" or "rebellious," and met with the usual "Go to your room!" punishment afterwards.
But we have learned that talking to our kids openly and calmly goes a long way. For one, they learn to keep the communication lines open, they are not afraid to talk to us, and two, they are far better at regulating their feelings.
Bedtime Conversations About Emotions
Take the case of Aldie Padernos, a 4-year-old boy from British Columbia whose video of his bedtime conversation with his mum has gone viral. The said video that was uploaded on Tiktok by Aldie’s mum, Jonisa Padernos, has since been viewed over 16 million times.
And for good reason. In this short but heartwarming video, Little Aldie impressed netizens with how thoughtfully he processed his feelings that could even give parenting coaches a run for their money.
At the start of the video, Aldie calmly told his mum, "You hurt my feelings by not going outside that's why I didn't want to make the smart choice."
"You know, earlier, I couldn't go outside so I was a little sad," he went on to tell his mum.“But after I was a little sad, I was a little upset. More than a little.”
Responding to her little boy, Mum Jonisa validated his feelings by saying, "We all get upset sometimes. We don’t get what we want all the time," to which Aldie agreed, saying that his mum and dad feel that way too.
"But it's hard for babies to do that."
He then recalled an incident that happened earlier that day when his baby sister dropped the plate and his father seemed mad. Aldie reminded his dad to stop, breathe slowly, and make a smart choice. According to him, his dad listened.
Aldie then went back to talking about how he was able to overcome having negative feelings.
"I chose to be a tiny bit mad, but after a while, I was okay!"
"That's emotions, Mama!"
After Aldie said that, Mum Jonisa validated her son's feelings by saying, "Life is like that. We get upset, we get mad, we cry-" to which the little boy replied, "That's emotions, Mama!"
The two went on to discuss emotions, with the mum continuously validating his son's feelings and allowing him to express himself openly. Later on, Aldie admitted that he had a hard time managing his emotions.
"I was wrong. Today I had a hard time doing my emotions," he said. To which, his mum replied, "That's okay. We're learning."
At this point, I don't know who I love more in this video - the boy, or the mum. They both showed impressive skills - with the boy calmly talking about self-regulation, and the mum being an expert feelings validator.
The most heartwarming part of this video could be what happened next, when the mum and son were hugging and Aldie asked,
"Even though I was still that mad, you still love me that much?"
To which his mum replied, "Of course. Always." With that kind of response, the little boy said, "I love you too."
Here's the full video, uploaded by CBS News:
@cbsnews This 4-year-old wowed people online by discussing his emotions with his mom. He had a tough day, but they talked it out ? #children #kids #momsoftiktok #inspirational #love ♬ original sound - cbsnews
Okay, so three important things I've learned from this video that I want to remember as a parent:
- Not everything turns out the way we like it. But we can learn to respond and manage our emotions accordingly.
- Three things the little boy told his dad in the heat of the moment - stop, take a deep breath and make a smart choice. That's self-regulation for you. Doing this practice before reacting can do wonders for our relationships, and our mental health too.
- Aldie had a tough day. But he felt better afterwards. And he was able to talk it out with his mum. We can apply that in our relationships too. No matter how hard our day was, it gets better if you have someone to talk about it with, with no judgment but validation and understanding.
BONUS: what Aldie said in the last part is also something that I tell my kids every time we have an argument and misunderstanding. "Nothing you do will ever make me love you less." If there's anything you want your kids to remember for the rest of their lives, that's the one.
See, mums and dads? It's never too early to teach your child about their feelings and emotions. They can understand more than we think. And children of all ages can learn a thing or two from little Aldie on self-regulation.
BRB, I'm just going to rewatch this video about a hundred more times.
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Self-Regulation Skills: Why It’s Important For Your Child to Learn It
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