'Dear mum who feels like she wants to quit...'
Motherhood, as sweet as it is, can be sometimes be exasperating. If you're having a bad day and feel like you're at wit's end, then read this.
I know it feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders and that it really doesn’t matter if the dishes are done or that no one really cares that you stayed up till 2 am folding laundry or that you are just overlooked. I know you sit in the car and put your head on the steering wheel and the tears roll down at times. I know that sometimes you just want to throw in the towel and whisper (or scream) that you’ve had enough of all of this.
I know. I know because I have felt that way.
I remember sitting in the bathroom behind the door with my head in my hands thinking that I couldn’t do this motherhood thing anymore and that I really didn’t matter or make a difference and that I would never ever catch up on laundry – which, by the way, I’ve never really caught up on. And because I’ve felt that way I’m writing today to tell you that you, right now, matter more than you might ever realize.
You, and your life, your voice, your giving of self, and all of that matters.
There will be days that are hard. Weeks that are hard. Months that are hard.
But, you can do this. I know you can.
You can pick yourself up, brush off the words that hold you back, and you can be mum today. You can look in your children’s eyes and tell them how much you love them – even though you are remembering how much they sassed back to you this morning – and you can love them unconditionally. You can make those PBJs for lunch today and sliced apples and can actually get the straw in the juice pouch on the first time. Or the second. You can drive those kids to soccer or ballet or to school or to where ever and you will tell yourself that you sitting in the car with them matters.
Quitting means stopping. And you don’t stop.
A wise friend of mine told me this weekend that we only fail when we quit.
Motherhood doesn’t look anything like I imagined when I was young. Motherhood doesn’t look like those Pinterest boards full of birthday ideas with perfect fondant cakes and party favors that take three hours to make. Those moments are there. But seriously, listen to me, those things don’t make a mother. Those things, while they are beautiful, they don’t really matter in the life journey. Do you know what matters? You. Right now, reading these words, who is about to give of herself for her family.
Do you realize what an amazing impact you are leaving?
Don’t tell me about all the times you’ve messed up. I’ve got them as well. But do you remember all the times where you have done well? Or the times when you’ve been there? Sitting up at one am rocking a toddler with a bad dream. Making dinner out of a pantry that is bare. Giving up on something you need so that your child can get what they need. Helping with math. Reading a story. Folding those clothes. Making lunches. Teaching. Listening to their stories. Being silly. Laughing. Holding the puke bucket. Wiping faces. Putting art on the wall. Watching them sleep.
Those are the moments in life that you are blessed to live.
So you may feel like you want to quit. Don’t. Pick up the motherhood towel right now and instead tell yourself you can do this today. You can. You can for your family. Don’t look at how Sally is mothering, or what the facebook status states, or the Pinterest picture of the perfect mother. You are the perfect mother for your children today. Do not let the world qualify your motherhood. There is no price tag large enough that would ever illustrate the true value of motherhood. You are an amazing gift to your family.
I believe in you.
What are you waiting for? You can do this, sweet mother.