Dad's Role During Pregnancy: What Helps, And The Leave You're Owed

While mummy will play the star of the show, the supporting actor will be equally important. Here's a list of ways dad can help out during labour and delivery...

“Be supportive” is the advice every expectant father gets, and it’s useless, because nobody says what that looks like on a Tuesday.

Here’s the specific version, including the part most fathers in Singapore still don’t realise has changed.

Start with the leave, because it changed and most people missed it

Singapore’s parental leave is significantly better than it was, and a lot of fathers are still working off the old numbers.

Government-Paid Paternity Leave is now 4 weeks: doubled from two in April 2025, and mandatory, not something your employer may offer.
Shared Parental Leave rose to 10 weeks in April 2026, to be divided between both parents however suits you. It replaced the old arrangement where a mother could transfer four weeks of her maternity leave.
With 16 weeks of maternity leave, that’s 30 weeks of paid leave between the two of you.

Work out how you want to split the shared portion before the birth. Taking it later, when she goes back to work, often helps more than taking it all at once at the start. It’s a decision to make deliberately, not by default.

Which appointments to go to

You can’t make all of them, and you don’t need to. These are the ones to take leave for:

The dating scan, around 8–12 weeks. First time you see anything.
The 20-week anomaly scan. The longest and most detailed scan, and the one where, if something is found, you very much want to be in the room.
Any appointment where results are being discussed: two people hear more than one, and one of you can write things down.
Antenatal classes. Go. This is where you learn what to do during labour, instead of improvising.

What helps

Ranked roughly by how much difference it makes, based on what mothers report:

Take things off her list without being asked. The mental load is the exhausting part, not the tasks themselves but the tracking of them. “What can I do?” hands the load back. Noticing and doing removes it.
Learn the pregnancy alongside her. Knowing roughly what week she’s at, what’s happening, and what the next appointment is means she isn’t managing the pregnancy and briefing you on it.
Handle the admin. Hospital registration, the Baby Bonus and CDA, insurance, the leave applications, choosing the paediatrician. Helpful and easily delegated in full.
Share the lifestyle changes. Giving up alcohol alongside her, or at least not drinking in front of her, makes more difference than it sounds. So does stopping smoking, which also matters for the baby directly.
Do the night shift where you can. If she’s breastfeeding you can’t do the feed, but you can do the nappy, the winding and the settling afterwards. That can nearly halve how long she’s awake.

On the day

Know the birth plan and her preferences, particularly on pain relief, because there will be a point where she can’t advocate for herself and you’ll need to.
Your job isn’t to fix it. You can’t make it hurt less. Being calm, present and not panicking is the whole role.
Bring food and a charger. Labour can be very long and nobody feeds the partner.
Ask questions on her behalf. If something is happening and you don’t understand it, say so and ask.

The part nobody tells fathers

Roughly one in ten new fathers experiences depression in the year after a birth. It tends to look less like sadness and more like irritability, withdrawal, working late, drinking more, or feeling numb and detached from the baby.

It’s also more likely if your partner is struggling, which is exactly when a father is least likely to raise it.

If that’s you, it counts and it’s treatable. Tell your GP. Getting it dealt with is part of looking after your family, not a distraction from it.

What not to do

Don’t comment on her body, in either direction. There’s no version of this that lands the way you intend.
Don’t compare her pregnancy to anyone else’s.
Don’t say “we’re pregnant” if it annoys her, and don’t be offended if it does.
Don’t disappear into work as a way of coping. It’s the most common pattern and it’s read, correctly, as absence.
Don’t treat the hospital bag, the cot and the car seat as her project.

Frequently asked questions

How much paternity leave do fathers get in Singapore?

Four weeks of Government-Paid Paternity Leave, doubled from two in April 2025 and now mandatory, not at an employer’s discretion. On top of that, Shared Parental Leave rose to ten weeks in April 2026, divided between both parents as you choose. With the mother’s 16 weeks of maternity leave, that’s 30 weeks of paid leave between you.

Which pregnancy appointments should dads attend?

The dating scan at around 8 to 12 weeks, the 20-week anomaly scan, any appointment where results are being discussed, and antenatal classes. The anomaly scan is the most important: it’s the longest and most detailed, and the one where you’d want to be present if anything were found.

What can I do to help during pregnancy?

Take things off her list without being asked, since the mental load is the tiring part and “what can I do?” hands it back. Learn the pregnancy alongside her so she isn’t briefing you on it. Take over the admin entirely: hospital registration, Baby Bonus, insurance, leave applications. Share the lifestyle changes. After the birth, do the nappy and settling around night feeds.

Can fathers get postnatal depression?

Yes. Around one in ten new fathers experiences depression in the year after a birth, and it more often shows as irritability, withdrawal, working late, drinking more or feeling detached than as obvious sadness. It’s more likely when a partner is also struggling. It’s treatable, and something to raise with a GP.

What’s my role during labour?

Know her preferences, especially about pain relief, because there will be a point where she can’t advocate for herself. Stay calm and present. You can’t make it hurt less, and trying to fix it isn’t the job. Ask questions on her behalf when something is happening that you don’t understand. And bring food and a phone charger, because labour can be long and nobody looks after the partner.

What to remember

Sort the leave early. Four weeks paternity plus up to ten shared is a different proposition from what your older colleagues had, and how you split it’s a decision to make on purpose, not by default.

Go to the 20-week scan. Take the admin entirely. Stop asking what you can do and start noticing. And if you find yourself irritable, withdrawn and working late for months after the birth, that has a name and a treatment.