You Had a C-section, I Had a Normal Birth: Here's What I Want to Say to You

"Does the fact that you didn't push out a baby from between your legs make you less of a mother?"

Dear C-section mum,

I am sorry for how you’re often made to feel like you’re less of a mother because of the way you gave birth to your child. Yes, that’s right – you gave birth, just like I did.

You had layers of flesh punctured, cut through, so you could finally meet your precious little one.

You had a huge needle stuck in your spine that made the lower half of your body paralysed, so you could ensure the safety of your baby’s birth. Or maybe you were completely knocked out, waking momentarily to see your little darling, touch her soft skin still sticky with blood and vernix, before passing out again.

You suffered the pain of your cut so you could cradle your baby on your body and nourish her. The love you felt overpowered the pain – a love so intense that it was painful in itself.

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You are SO brave.

You endured major surgery to give birth to your baby. And you are often judged for this. I am sorry for the unfairness of this.

Like any mother, you just want to give birth so you can finally meet your baby.

Like any mother, like any human being, you don’t want every single decision you take to be put under the microscope, scrutinised for assumed faults which are then shouted to the world.

You just want to be a mum. You just want to hold your baby safely in your arms.

Image source: iStock

The way you do this shouldn’t have to be made into a burden that weighs you down with guilt. Perhaps you had an elective C-section, perhaps it was an emergency. Either way, it was a decision that was made with the well-being of you and your baby at heart. What’s so wrong with that?

Does the fact that you didn’t push out a baby from between your legs make you less of a mother? Isn’t this an accusation that is often thrown your way?

I don’t understand why this is so when just like me, you love and cherish the little life you birthed. You feed, bathe and dress her. You talk to her, you sing to her. You hold her and hug her. You protect her.

Image source: iStock

You love her.

And this is what matters. We are equals as mothers.

There’s too much judgement in motherhood these days. We are quick to critique, slow to support and this needs to change.

I want to tell you that I will never judge you. I will always respect you as a woman who has ownership of her own body, who has the right to decide what to do with her own body. I will always respect you as a mother who brought her child into this world with love and dignity.

You are not less of a mother because of the way you birthed your baby.

I birthed my child, you birthed your child. I love my child, you love your child. I don’t see a difference in this.

Do you?

C-section mums, have you ever felt judged? Share your thoughts with us, won’t you?

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Written by

Nalika Unantenne

PregnancyC-sectionnatural birthing