How to tell your child you’re pregnant

When the strip turns positive and the doctor confirms you’re pregnant, it definitely calls for a celebration. Sharing the news with your beloved friends and family is probably one of the first things that pop up in your mind.

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Pick the right time

Avoid telling your child you’re pregnant when he’s not in the right frame of mind. If he is upset over something and has just gotten over it, or if he is feeling tired, chances are he is not going to like what he hears. Pick a relaxed time, and make sure he is calm. Also, avoid times when your child is going through stressful changes, which includes starting school, changing a domestic helper, or shifting houses.

Having both parents

This is not necessary but it is important to have him feel like a team player. Telling your child you’re pregnant when both parents are there will let him feel more involved. The last thing you want is for him to feel even more left out, with all the changes that you and your hubby are going to make. He may not be able to grasp the entire picture so answer all his questions as patiently as possible.

Older and wiser

Like the aforementioned point, when telling your child you’re pregnant, it is crucial to make him feel like he is very needed. Although it may sometimes be inevitable, the last thing you want is to let your child to feel even more left out. Show him that he has a big part in his mother’s pregnancy, and give him that satisfaction of feeling more matured, wiser and responsible.

Avoid associating your pregnancy with negativity

Nausea, vomiting, fatigue, mood swings are all symptoms of pregnancy. Everyone knows that, but your child may not. Attributing your not feeling well and your bad moods with pregnancy may cause your child to associate negativity with your pregnancy, or even his future sibling. Instead, be as positive as possible. Give encouragements and tell him how exciting it will be to have a sibling to play with, to share his joys and sadness.

Share information

Do not worry if he is bombarded with too much information. When telling your child you’re pregnant, it is always good to quell his uncertainties and answer any of his anxieties. Tell him, "six months later, you will be a brother (or sister) and as a big brother, you must help daddy and me to take care of your little sibling". Or, "Today, daddy and I are going for a check up, to see if the baby inside mummy is doing ok, do you want to come along?" Remember, you do not want your child to feel left out in the process.

Preparing for the future

Young children do not do well with uncertainties. It is important to be very reassuring while telling your child you’re pregnant. Tell him what will happen when your baby arrives, such as "when your little sibling is born, he (or she) will be very small and needs extra care because he will not be as strong as you are. Mummy will be busy taking care of your little sibling" and remember to reiterate, "you must be a good boy (or girl) and help mummy out."