Paul Briggs has been on life support since last year after a motorcycle accident, and for his wife Lindsey all she wants is for him to finally be able to rest and not suffer any longer.
Despite surviving the accident, it left Paul as a shell of his former self. That’s why his wife thought that it had been better had he died instead.
Each passing day, Lindsay has to watch more of his husband’s dignity slip away from him and it kills her to think she’s powerless to help him, a Daily Mail report said.
“It never crossed our minds to put in writing that we'd want to do in a ‘worse-case scenario’ should we ever end up in a similar state,” Lindsey said. “As a war veteran, he survived six years serving on the front line in the Gulf War and Northern Ireland before going into the police force for another 11.
“The man I fell in love with has gone, although his body remains here—laid up in a hospital bed.
“He is unrecognisable and would never have wanted to be kept alive this way.”
The night of Paul’s accident, medics told her that he would likely not survive—but despite the odds, he did. When the doctors tried to wake him from his coma, however, Paul was unresponsive.
A week later, the doctors said that if ever he woke up, he would be brain-damaged and would need 24-hour care.
“I told them I knew my Paul would never wish to be kept alive in such a state. They tried to keep my spirits up by assuring me it was still early on in his recovery.”
The medics then explained that without an advance directive, Lindsey couldn’t make that call.
“As a medical secretary, I'd heard of advance directives before but I'd never really thought about writing one. I never thought I'd need to. I'd hoped that as Paul's wife and next of kin I had the power to decide.”
While she visited her husband daily, she rarely took their four-year-old daughter Ella with her.
“'I rarely took Ella to see her daddy as she didn't recognise him and found it scary. The silent, still man she saw didn't match up to the loving father who would put her on his shoulders and give her cuddles.”
According to the Daily Mail report, the person responsible for the car accident in August last year entered a not guilty plea to causing serious injury by dangerous driving.
Last year, however, she changed her plea to guilty and will be sentenced next month.
“'We hope justice will be served—but nothing will restore Paul to the man he was,” Lindsey said.
Now she stresses the importance of an advanced decision. “I can't stress enough to other couples to do the same. You might have spoken your wishes to loved-ones, but it means nothing unless you write it down.”
What is an advanced decision?
In the Daily Mail report, an advanced decision is described as a decision you can make now to not be given a specific type of treatment at some point in the future, allowing your family and health professionals to know your wishes about future treatments in case you are unable to communicate them yourself.
“All treatments you want to refuse must be named in the advance decision. Examples could be being given antibiotics or being given help to breathe using a ventilator.
“The decision must be made by you and needs to be written down and signed by you and a witness.
“It will only be used in the future if you do not have the mental capacity to decide how you wish to be treated.”
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