Labour is a very intimate moment where you do not intend to flash yourself to people you are not comfortable around. So if we were to make a list of those who can be in the delivery room with you, we’re pretty sure your mother-in-law would not make the cut into this list.
But it seems that one man did not understand this ‘complication’ when his wife chose to go online and share her story.
Mother-in-law Wants To Be In The Labour Room
Image Source: Pexels
This happens to be the case of a Reddit mum who recently took to the website to share her concerns. She wrote, “My mother-in-law (MIL) made comments early on that she wanted to be there for the birth, and this woman is not subtle.
At the time I felt protected by COVID protocols but set that expectation straight. I explicitly stated that anytime I give birth it will be a private medical experience that only includes my husband and medical team. I thought that it was clear it wasn’t a debate because it’s my body and I have the autonomy to decide who sees it in any context.”
The expecting mother said that her relationship with the mother-in-law has not exactly been great, which makes the request all the more awkward. Since the hospital protocols have changed and now allow two people for birth support, the woman’s husband told her mother about the same.
Elaborating further, the mum said, “I tried not to react but immediately I blurted out asking him why he would do that,”
The father went on to say he knows his mother “really wants to be in the room to see the baby’s first breath.” However, the mum wasn’t too pleased with the mother-in-law also seeing her pushing the baby out and looking down her vagina.
“I actually had to explain why I refuse to give birth in front of his mother. I then told him that there are only two priorities in the delivery room and neither of them are his mother or her feelings,” she added further.
The conversation spiralled into an argument. The mum to be called the mother-in-law “dead weight” in the delivery room. Since he wasn’t ready to put the pregnant woman’s needs first. The father stormed out saying she was being rude about the whole thing.
What Do The Netizens Say?
The post has gathered quite the steam online with over 3,500 comments and some polarising thoughts on the matter. Most netizens agreed that the father was completely out of line to involve the mother-in-law in this process.
One user wrote, “Your husband pulled a moronic move going behind your back to let MIL know she MIGHT be able to be in there. That, my dear, is fully 100 percent up to you. In fact, I think you need to let the staff know that under no circumstances is she allowed in the room. Give them a close-up mug shot of her.”
Other users offered a more reasonable solution to the problem.
One user commented, “Maybe see if a medical professional can talk some sense into the husband. He might not realize it but by stressing out OP (now and in the delivery room) can cause real harm. MIL being there is literally putting OP and the baby in danger.”
Another added, “BIRTH IS NOT A SPECTATOR SPORT. IT IS A MEDICAL EVENT. I’m so tired of how entitled everyone acts around a pregnant woman’s body. It’s still her private literal medical event that could go smoothly, could go wrong, is distressing, makes you completely vulnerable, etc. I just do not get it. Wait until the baby is out and mom is clean and rested at home to see the baby.”
The Reddit user later revealed that she also has a mother and two sisters but didn’t want them inside the delivery room either. She wanted just the father to be there instead.
Who Can Be In The Delivery Room With You?
Image Source: Pexels
If you are a pregnant mum and are expecting this kind of drama with your in-laws, it’s important to know the labour and delivery rules that are now in place. This is particularly important in the wake of the pandemic.
Hospitals have restrictions on the number of support partners and visitors too. Given the troubling number of Covid cases globally, it’s not a bad decision at all.
Several hospitals now allow only one support person to be present during the labour and delivery. And some allow only one person during the postpartum stay at the hospital. This may be a good thing or a bad thing depending on how much you want people to visit you. The support partner also needs to test for Covid before staying at the hospital.
Ideally, minimising the number of visitors at the hospital is great for your recovery. Not only do you expose yourself to greater risk by coming in contact with people from the outside, but also expose the baby to the same dangers.
Let’s not forget, the hospital can be a breeding ground for infections, placing the visitor’s health at risk as well.
How To Choose Your Delivery Support Partner?
If you’re dabbling with the same dilemma as this mum, here are our recommendations.
1. Choose someone reliable
It’s important that the person with you inside the labour room is supportive at all costs. That’s why you need to be careful about the choice of your partner who is reliable, supportive, and does not feel nauseated around blood.
Things can get nasty fast in the labour room. It’s okay if your partner may not be the ideal candidate for the job, as long as you are comfortable with the other person joining you inside.
Labour Pain (Photo Credits: Shutterstock)
2. Turn someone down if you do not need them
Much like the mother-in-law, you may have some people who would want to be there with you at the time of the birth. If you think it’s not a good idea to have too many people at the hospital, be clear about it right from the start.
Your comfort is paramount and that’s why you get to take the call on who needs to be there.
At the same time, do respect others feelings, especially in the family. They’re coming there for you and the baby, and you must acknowledge it. But be assertive about your decision and speak to family members beforehand to avoid any confusion.
3. Have a Plan B
If your preferred partner is unavailable, have a backup person that you can consider. Make sure they know about your decision and are available at the time of your labour.
4. Limit hospital visitors
It’s okay to limit visitors at the hospital and even at home for the first few months. Your immunity and that of the baby is low at the time, and the virus is not exactly friendly. So, avoid interactions that can expose you to infections.
5. Discuss your birth plan with your doctor
Speak to your doctor about your birth plan beforehand and any preferences that you have. This includes the name of the supportive partner, backup partner, and visitors.
Make sure to check with the hospital for its rules on visitors and the visiting hours. You can also include details like food choices, labour preferences, and more. The fewer surprises you have at the time of delivery, the better experience it will be.
Source: Reddit.com
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