They say age is just a number, but can the same be said about married couples? Is there an ideal age gap for marriage?
Well, the answer to that is: yes and no.
Every relationship is different but typically in most of them, couples zero in on a few key factors of compatibility right at the dating stage. These factors could be love, community, family, financial status, and past relationships. For some, age difference also comes into play, especially if they plan to settle down later in life.
While for many this last factor may not be a contentious one, for others, the ideal age gap for marriage is very important. In fact, some existing studies also support this theory. They note that wider age gaps between couples may stir up marital problems in the future.
But what is the exact answer: do most Singaporean couples prefer an ideal age gap for marriage? Well, we found out.
theAsianparent (TAP) community shared their own age differences with their spouses and some replies are not what you expect.
Image source: iStock
What Is The Age Gap Between You And Your Partner?
On the TAP community’s random talk discussions, users shared interesting answers to the question “What is the age gap between you and your spouse?”
One year or less. Most TAP users said they only had a one-year difference with their spouse, while other few shared that they only had several months between their partners.
Two years or more. A two-year age gap was also commented on a few times with three TAP community members sharing the same answer. There were also a couple of users who said they only had a close 3 and 4-year age gap with their spouses.
Over 10 years. Several TAP users shared they had passed the 10-year age gap with their partner as a community member said she had 15 years between her and her spouse while another wrote, “I’m only 26 and my partner is 42”.
There were also community members who said they didn’t have an age gap between them and that they were actually the same age as their partner.
While a majority said they had a year or less between them and their spouses, there are still several people who managed to bridge wide age gaps.
Ways You Can Bond With Your Older/Younger Spouse
Image source: iStock
Even with a couple of years between you two, there are still many ways to connect with your life-long partner. As both mature adults, you shouldn’t let numbers faze you from keeping the spark alive in your relationship.
Whether it’s an age gap of a year or five years, you can still find things to bond over and keep your relationship spicy. To bridge the gap and to keep the flame alive, here are a few things you can try:
1. Send each other loving notes or texts within the day. Be as cheesy as you want and throw all the words of love you know to your partner. This would surely make them feel giddy, in the middle of their busy day.
2. Bring the dating days back. If there’s something you and your spouse used to do before, during your dating phase, you should revive those activities. You can spend time together at the same spots you would hang out before marriage. And remind yourself of your love for each other.
3. Go on spontaneous dates. While planning may be ideal, especially with kids and your busy work life, try to go out of your way to surprise your spouse with a special date. It doesn’t even have to be anything extravagant, just a simple picnic will do. The idea is to do something that would bring a smile to your partner’s face and take away all the stress.
4. Take part in activities you both have never tried before. Whether your partner is older or younger, there must be things both of you haven’t done before. Take, for instance, extreme activities such as skydiving or even something as simple as cooking a new dish together. It’s always fun to try something new together and create a new memory.
5. Spend quality time together. Even with a promised lifetime together, take some time off and plan a day for just the two of you to reconnect.
Most Common Advantages of Choosing an Older Spouse
Emotional maturity and life experience.
In any relationship, emotional maturity and life experience play a significant role in fostering a strong and healthy partnership.
Emotional maturity entails having the ability to understand and manage one’s emotions in a constructive manner, which is crucial for effective communication, conflict resolution, and overall relationship satisfaction.
Life experience, on the other hand, encompasses the knowledge and wisdom gained through various life events and challenges.
This experience can contribute to a deeper understanding of oneself and others, leading to increased empathy, patience, and resilience within a relationship.
When both partners possess emotional maturity and life experience, they are more likely to navigate challenges and changes together with a sense of understanding and support, ultimately strengthening the bond between them.
Financial stability and security.
Financial stability and security are essential aspects of a successful and fulfilling partnership.
When both individuals in a relationship are financially stable, it reduces the stress and strain that financial challenges can place on a partnership.
It enables couples to focus on building a life together without constantly worrying about money. Moreover, a secure financial foundation provides a sense of peace and confidence, allowing couples to plan for the future, set goals, and achieve their shared dreams.
Financial stability also allows for increased opportunities, such as the ability to invest in personal growth, pursue hobbies, and enjoy experiences that enhance the quality of life.
Ultimately, when both partners contribute to and prioritise financial stability and security, it fosters a solid foundation for a long-lasting and successful relationship.
Deeper understanding and connection.
One of the profound benefits of choosing an older spouse is the potential for a deeper understanding and connection within the relationship.
With age often comes wisdom and life experiences that can contribute to a heightened level of emotional intelligence and maturity.
An older partner may have a greater capacity for empathy, patience, and the ability to navigate challenges with grace and wisdom.
This deeper understanding can lead to a more profound connection between partners, as they are better equipped to communicate effectively, resolve conflicts, and provide support to one another.
Additionally, an older spouse may have a broader perspective on life. They offer valuable insights and guidance in various aspects, such as career choices, personal growth, and decision-making.
This enhanced level of understanding and connection can strengthen the foundation of the relationship and contribute to its long-term success and fulfilment.
With reports from Sandra Ong.
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