Deciding to be a stay-at-home parent may be a tough choice to make. But it’s truly rewarding.
Though there’s always been a debate about which is better, staying at home or building a career are equally important choices.
But, as most stay-at-home parents would agree, there is no shortage of excitement if you choose to be a stay-at home parent.
Though it may seem daunting at first; especially, for parents who are transitioning to staying at home with the kids from a busy career.
One user on theAsianparent Community shared: “Sometimes, I feel that I’m not good enough as a stay-at-home mom. There are times that make me think that I should get back to work. There are other times wherein I feel that I should be SAHM so I wouldn’t miss out milestones of my kid. What do you do when you are at this kind of crossroad?”
It’s natural to experience self-doubt because stay-at-home parenting is one of the toughest paths to choose.
“Much of stay-at-home mothering is harder than any other job,” Dr. Shannon Hyland-Tassava, author of The Essential Stay-at-Home Mom Manual told Care.com.”Can you think of any other profession that has 24/7 shifts, no coffee or lunch breaks, and no vacation or sick days?”
For working parents transitioning to being stay-at-home parents, here are five simple tips to achieve success in the home.
1. Stick to a schedule
Structuring a schedule and sticking to it helps create productivity and consistency.
“It gives some shape to the day and tells kids what to expect — kids love consistency,” says Dr. Tassava.
It doesn’t have to be super strict. Leaving spaces for naps, meals, and leisurely activities adds fun to your day; maintaining consistent blocks of time each day for more serious activities is essential to keeping things orderly and less stressful for everyone.
2. Socialise
“Stay-at-home motherhood can be extremely isolating, especially when your children are babies, or when you’re brand-new to SAHM-hood,” says Dr. Tassava.
Why not try library story time? Or, going to the playground? Mom-and-toddler groups and classes also work to ease the feeling of loneliness.
Step out of the role of “mom” or “dad” by cultivating activities that encourage you to express your individuality. Maintain your adult identity outside of being a parent will keep you inspired and boosts your self-esteem, making you an even better parent and partner.
3. Accept your limitations
Everyone needs help. Even the best parents can’t do everything by themselves. So, be realistic.
The more time you spend pressuring yourself into perfection, the less you’re able to fully enjoy being with your kids.
For many parents, hiring a nanny is totally fine and shouldn’t diminish your worth as a stay-at-home parent. Be practical and know when it will take more than one pair of hands to get the job done!
4. Strive for ‘good enough’
Work on being a great parent instead of being the perfect parent because there’s no such thing.
“You’ll never be a perfect mom, because there’s no such thing; but chances are your ‘job performance’ is plenty good enough,” says Dr. Tassava.
This doesn’t mean we should strive for mediocrity; it simply means we should make sure we don’t put too much pressure on ourselves because it is a counterproductive habit that only hinders our quest for fulfilment as a stay-at-home parent.
5. Pay yourself
It’s easy to feel unappreciated without a steady income or professional growth. But, this shouldn’t be the only measure of success.
“Remind yourself that you’re doing some of the most valuable work there is, even if you’re not getting paid for it,” says Dr. Tassava. “Feeling undervalued comes from inner ambivalence, or a lack of validation from a spouse or partner.”
Once you appreciate your worth and hard work, being a stay-at-home parent becomes more fun. And, don’t be shy about asking your kids or partner for simple displays of affection and appreciation.
Reward yourself by having regular ‘me time’. Why not spend a weekend away or buy yourself a new pair of shoes? Treating yourself makes you feel greatly valued and will help you keep striving to give your kids and partner the very best.
If you have any insights, questions or comments regarding the topic, please share them with us!