Singapore Minister for Foreign Affairs Vivian Balakrishnan just celebrated his 30th wedding anniversary and in his words, “4 children, 2 grandchildren later – this is what real happiness means.”
What does happiness mean to him then?
He shares a sweet little video of a speech he made at his daughter Natalie’s wedding 3 years ago.
Vivian Balakrishnan’s advice about marriage
In this lovely video, Vivian Balakrishnan starts off by saying, “Getting married, or rather the choice of spouse is probably the most crucial decision in your life. It can be a source of great happiness or the converse.”
And what advice does he have for all couples?
We pick out some gems from his speech which are oh-so-true, and heartfelt:
“I have told my sons that when you date a girl, it is very important to look at her mother.”
The reason for that, you know, (is) in Singapore, we believe in long-term planning and the best predictor of your future partner, a 25 or 30 year look-ahead is the potential mother-in-law,” he says light-heartedly.
He also talks about how having a child changed his life and perspective, “Natalie is very special…the moment I held her in my arms, it transformed my life…”
“In fact, having a child is far more significant than getting married. For the first time, when I held this (slightly grumpy) bundle in my arms, I suddenly realised what responsibility meant…”
“There was another human being who depended entirely on us.”
“And then, I also realised it was probably the day I became a conservative, because when you have a child you are truly invested in the future.”
“It is no longer about your own life, but its also about her life and her future.”
As kids we often wonder why parents fuss over us so much. All that changes when we have our own children, and in Vivian’s words, “The final and most significant part was when I realised how much parents love their children…I realised for the first time that day how much my parents loved me.”
And this is truly beautiful, “I realised that getting married, having families, having children is a one way ticket, we pay love forward to the next generation.”
He also reveals the advice his wife, Joy, once gave him, “She told me the most important gift you can give your children is to love their mother.”
This is so true, “It may sound funny but when you think about it, children need that absolute sense of security from knowing that their parents love each other.”‘
“Children need that role model of parents who love each other, and are committed for a lifetime.
“In this day and age of instant gratification, of an almost throwaway culture, these old fashioned values of commitment for the long term, of loving your partner and making it life’s enterprise, is all the more essential.”
Wasn’t that some lovely advice? 🙂
Here is the heartwarming video of the speech, Watch Video
Also READ: This Mother’s Day message by PM Lee is beautiful!