This Mum's Hilarious Account Of 'Parent Sex' Is So True!

Just be prepared to laugh out loud and agree with every single thing she says!

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Aussie mum and blogger Constance Hall’s lucid and oh-so-funny account of her struggle to keep her sex life alive is striking a chord with thousands of parents online.

Her Facebook post has been shared more than 30,000 times, and in it, the mum of four talks about the lengths she goes to, just to squeeze in some sexy time with her husband.

In her post, Hall mentions the “3.5 minutes you get in between changing nappies and making food” to have some one-on-one time with your significant other while the kids are “distracted”.

She also describes her strategies to get some privacy, such as “where you position the bed to have one foot against the door because, for a loud bunch of kids, yours can be pretty quiet when they’re sneaking up on people.”

And, “Where no matter how hot it is you chuck the doona on top of yourselves in case someone manages to barge through and catch mummy and daddy doing “yoga” in bed.”

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Resonating with many parents, I’m sure, Hall’s post also says “It’s a pretty romantic scene really, listening to Iggle Piggle in the background, knowing your days are numbered when you hear the ad break.”

Since her post was published, Hall has been taken aback by the responses from thousands of parents who were able to relate to her parent-sex struggles.

“Everybody likes the honesty,” she said. “I think people are finding it a sigh of relief and thinking ‘cool I’m not the only one with the shit sex life!'”

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Her husband, meanwhile, takes and appreciates whatever he can get:

“Men are amazing and impressive creatures, by sheer determination, it’s inspiring how one can manage to ‘finish’ under such circumstances, us women, aren’t always so easy,” says Hall in her post.

She concludes, “Well mine was pretty impressed, even if I just lied there, saggy boobs, baby belly pouch, hairy minge and all, he still thinks I’m amazing.”

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For more giggles on the topic of parent-sex, read this funny article on how to squeeze in some under-(the)-cover action if you co-sleep.

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Written by

Nalika Unantenne