Parenting does not come with a manual, and so, for many of us, we learn as we go along. And what makes parenting so difficult is the fact that each journey is so different and unique.
We relate to our kids in different ways, and it’s different with each child. But while we do the best that we can, there are times when we feel we may have missed the mark and we could have done better.
Parents should not feel guilty about these 9 things:
#1 Feeling guilty for saying “No.”
We love our children, and we want only the best for them. In fact, we want to give them everything their heart desires because we want to see the joy in their eyes when they receive something they’ve always wanted.
But, as you know, not all things they want are good for them. Would any sane parent allow toddlers to handle sharp kitchen knives if they insist on it? Would Daddy give his little boy the car keys just because he wants to drive?
Sometimes, even if it breaks our hearts, we have to say “No.” Because in learning to say no, we spare them, and ourselves, a thousand troubles and heartaches in the future.
#2 Feeling guilty for saying “Yes”
Now, sometimes, a treat or celebration is called for. On special occasions, we show children how we love and appreciate them when we give them their long-awaited toy or game; or when there is no occasion, a simple thoughtful gift to show our affection.
It feels good to indulge our children, perhaps because we’ve always wanted to give them the all stuff we never had as a child. It’s okay to shower your kids with gifts, just make sure that they never grow up entitled.
NEXT PAGE: Am I a bad parent?
#3 Feeling guilty for acting like a “parent”
Today, our approach to parenting is very different from our parents. While the previous generation was a little more strict, today’s parents encourage a more open relationship with their kids, where we want to be the kids’ confidantes and best friends.
Every parent wants a healthy relationship with their child, and having that open line of communication with them. However, in certain instances, we have to put our foot down as “Mum” and “Dad.”
Parents are foremost parents. We are here to guide our kids. And when the situation arises where you have to choose between being a friend or being a parent, it’s okay to choose the latter.
#4 Feeling guilty for disciplining your kids
There are several schools of thought regarding disciplining children. Some parents believe in the rod, while others believe in open communication and dialogue. Regardless, putting in place set rules and structure is needed. In whatever way, shape, or form, children need parental discipline to guide them, to show them what is right and what is wrong.
#5 Feeling guilty for taking breaks
Parents are human beings, too. You are not supermum or superdad; you are not a robot either. You need time for yourself to rest and rejuvenate. Don’t feel bad when you want to schedule some “me-time”. You need to recharge to become a better mum or dad.
#6 Feeling guilty for loving yourself and your spouse
Parents have a tendency to forget themselves once the kids come into their lives. Parenting is a selfless commitment. We make so many sacrifices, giving our all to our children. But Mummy and Daddy are important, too. So love yourself and your spouse also. It’s okay to make time for romance.
NEXT PAGE: Are you guilty of feeling guilty?
#7 Feeling guilty for not knowing what you’re doing all the time.
As said, there’s no manual for parenting, nor is there one way to raise children. We all struggle, and we are all finding our way as we go along. Just as long as you’re doing the best that you can, you can be proud.
#8 Feeling guilty for making your children do household chores
Parents, you are not your children’s maids or ATM machines. Even if you have a maid who can do all the work, it’s okay to teach your children how to be responsible by having them help out with the household chores. In the future, when they’re living on their own or managing their own household, they’ll thank you.
#9 Feeling guilty for wanting to a career
Before you had your kids, you had dreams and aspirations of your own, and these may have had to be postponed or put on the back burner when the children came.
While being a mum is a great privilege and you wouldn’t exchange it for anything in the world, wanting to nurture a career or having something that is solely for yourself is more than acceptable.
What are the other things you feel guilty about?