“Snips and snails, and puppy dogs tails, that’s what little boys are made of.”
A little boy is certainly made of many unique things rolled into one, super-charged, lovable powerhouse!
Here are 8 things mums of boys know.
1. They are incapable of peeing inside the toilet bowl only
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I’ve tried my best to teach my sons how to pee like gentlemen.
In my ladylike mind, this involves first raising the toilet lid and seat, then tearing off a square of toilet paper, peeing carefully into the toilet bowl, using the toilet paper and disposing of it, closing the lid, flushing the toilet and finally, washing and drying their hands.
What really happens is that they wait until they are practically bursting with the need to pee, dash to the loo, forget to tear off toilet paper or raise the toilet seat, spray pee everywhere (with a sigh of relief), and dash out of the bathroom to resume whatever loud game they were previously engaged in.
I give up.
2. You know that any reference to Bumblebee isn’t to the honey-producing type
You will get dragged (kicking and screaming in my case) into the world of Transformers, superheroes and dinosaurs at some point, whether you like it or not.
It may seem rather traumatising at first, but soon you will be proud of the acquisition of skills such as the ability to transform Optimus Prime into a truck in five seconds.
3. They usually can’t talk softly
It doesn’t matter if they are sitting two inches away or across the room from you. Their communication must be conducted in shouts, most of the time.
You’ll also notice that the volume of their shouty-speech increases with their excitement levels – which is also usually most of the time.
Earplugs, anyone?
4. They revel in the joy of being naked
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Little boys love being naked.
Sometimes they even eat naked as my younger son insisted on doing for about a year. But as you catch sight of a little streaker or two flashing past you, you are reminded of the sheer joy of literally feeling comfortable in your own skin.
Which takes us to the next point…
5. They can’t resist groping themselves. All. The. Time
I swear that when I went for my 16-week scan to find out the gender of my first child, I saw the little guy grabbing his crotch – there was no mistaking that I was going to have a boy!
In the instance of any emotion – happiness, sadness, fear and especially excitement — a little boy’s hand will more often than not, automatically reach for and grab at his crotch. Like it’s his best friend or soul mate, even.
Unfortunately, you’ll have to learn to live with it, mums. And if you do find a way of stopping this behaviour, I’ll be the first in line to find out how you did it!
6. They are physical and enjoy roughhousing
If you come over to my place, you’ll leave with this phrase ringing in your ears: “Stop playing rough”.
Unfortunately, my request falls on deaf ears more often than not (see next point) and it’s highly likely that you will see a little boy flying across the room, off the sofa, on to his brother.
Little boys seem to love physicality in general – whether this is expressed through frequent hugs and kisses, or roughhousing with their dad or siblings – and apparently, it has its benefits.
Therese Borchard, the Associate Editor at Psych Central, says that roughhousing can, among other benefits, help build emotional intelligence and even make kids smart (this is scientifically proven). Click here to read her article.
7. Their ability to listen is often NIL
You can find me always sipping on warm water because my voice is constantly hoarse from repeating instructions, requests, pleas to my boys over and over again.
It doesn’t matter that studies have actually proven that the ‘acoustic brain response’ of boys and girls has documented that girls hear substantially better than boys – especially in the 1,000-4,000Hz range.” Asking them to clean up over and over… and over again is still infuriating.
However, you’ll also find that when you announce their favourite meal is being served up for dinner, they can hear you from five kilometres away. Strange, much?
8. Nothing beats a little boy’s hugs and kisses
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I am woken up every single day by the most awesome baby bear hugs from my little guys.
They really understand the art of giving the most sincere, heartwarming hugs and the ploppiest of kisses right through the day.
Never mind that I’m also woken up with one of the said children sitting on my face or dragging my eyelids open. The hugs, kisses and general affection overload make up for this and all their shenanigans in general!
Mums of boys reading this – what would you add to this list? Do let us know in a comment below.