Johnathon Brill of Quora is a successful writer whose fatherhood related posts have been published across a wide range of credible source like Time, and Fatherly. His five years as a father, and ability to communicate to the internet community has made for a series of relatable and resourceful articles.
Recently, this father/writer wanted to use the knowledge and wisdom he’s acquired over the past five years to help reassure and prepare expecting fathers for the challenge that awaits them. In his insightful article, Brill shares 5 things to keep in mind as a new dad.
If you’re an expecting father, or just a dad looking for some helpful tips for your baby or toddler, this list is perfect for you!
Check out the advice this experienced dad has for new dads:
1. They’re going to do all these things that look extremely dangerous and we’re supposed to let them
Even though they’ll probably fall down off the slide and break their little arms and everybody will think we were just checking ESPN. We have to watch them climb up the ladder and almost slip off and knock themselves silly on a slippery wooden rung worn from thousands of little Keds that have almost slipped before theirs. We have to watch them amble across the little suspension bridge unassisted, on shaky little legs, because quite frankly, we’re just too damn big to climb up there with them. Then we’re supposed to sit there and look confident and encouraging as they balance precariously at the top of a ten-foot tall slide made of aluminium that’s been sitting in the hot sun all day, waiting for little legs to come and brand themselves on the scalding hot metal ruts. Or maybe they’ll be fine. Either way, you just have to let them. This is like being stabbed in the eye. Every time. Get used to it. Apparently it lasts for like thirty years.
2. They’re going to have to learn all these things, and you can’t just do it for them
They’re going to be trying to put their shirt on by themselves for the first time and they’re going to keep trying to stick their head in the armhole. They might squeal about this. Every single atom in your body will want to take two fingers and fix the whole thing. You can fix it in two seconds! But you can’t! You have to like, talk them through it. You have to console and encourage them to figure it out themselves. It’s like, a learning opportunity or something. So you have to just sit there while they stick their head and arm out of the neck hole and try to run away and play. You have to help them so they don’t look like Daddy dressed them when they get to daycare.
3. They will like broccoli if you tell them it’s so good that you want to eat theirs
OK, this is pretty amazing. This never works on adults. Well, sober adults. Seriously, they’re learning things 100x faster than we can but they’re still too young and honest and pure to recognize blatant manipulation using one of the oldest tricks in the books. Here’s how it works: just tell them that you’re going to eat all their broccoli, turn around and act like you’re eating it, and BAM, they’re going to throw a mini-tantrum until you give it back and let them eat it. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve made this work. My kid is five now and it still works half the time. When they’re siblings and they fight over meaningless things it’s even better. Just take the one neither wanted, start talking it up, then presto.
4. You have the magical power of making them go to sleep anywhere. The only trick is, they have to be on you
Not like, on your head, but you have to be carrying them with enough contact that they smell you and feel your warmth and recognize that its you. And after you master this Harry Potter-like magical gift, you can literally do anything you want as long as you can do it with a baby in one arm. They don’t care what you’re doing. Just don’t let them go. Make breakfast, replace a lightbulb, fold the clothes, go bowling. Just hold onto them until they feel safe on their own. As they get older, they start to repay this by holding onto you when you need it back.
5. Sometimes they’ll hurt a lot, and there will be nothing you can do to make it better
Image source: iStock
Sometimes it’s just a kiss on a skinned knee. But sometimes, as was the case with one of mine, they’re in the hospital at three weeks old with needles sticking out of their little skin in preparation for surgery, cold and crying and not sure what’s happening, and all you can do is let their little fingers wrap around yours and keep one of your hands on their little chest. This also never gets better. The pain may get different, maybe they fall off a bike or get scared at night or get their feelings hurt at school. And all you’ll be able to do is hold their little hand and let them know you won’t leave them until it gets better. And hope that’s enough.
If you have any insights, questions or comments regarding the topic, please share them with us!