Ladies, I know it is hard to accept that we really don’t ‘know it all’ when it comes to what’s going through our guys’ minds — especially when we’re talking about sex.
Even if you’ve had very revealing conversations about sex with your partner, there are some things he may not have said to you, but secretly hoped you knew.
I’m sure you are curious to know what these are… Just keep reading!
They want you to be open to trying new things.
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Many men tell sex therapists that they would love it if their wives were more open to experimenting when it comes to sex.
Even if you think his suggestions sound totally ridiculous, at least be open to talking about it.
You never know, once you get talking, he might be able to convince you to give his suggestions a go.
Do keep in mind that your man won’t (and shouldn’t!) want you to do something you don’t enjoy, so don’t feel bad about giving honest feedback about his suggestions — after giving them a go!
They want to have more sex with you
After spending the whole day juggling your work, the kids and errands, the last thing you want to have is sex, right? You’ll probably prefer a relaxing foot rub instead!
We need to change the way we think about sex. Admit it — once we become mums, sex usually becomes more of a chore than bonding time with our husbands!
With all the other things we do, we find it almost impossible to have spontaneous sex without slotting it in as a ‘to-do’ in our calendars.
A man’s opinion would be quite the opposite though. He regards sex as a pleasurable ‘stress-buster’, probably similar to how we think about that foot rub.
So try to make an effort for your man and have more time to make love to each other!
They want you to praise their efforts
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Just like how we ladies love the occasional compliment — such as, “Honey, you look stunning,” or, “That colour really suits you” — guys love to hear praises as well. Of course, we mean praises for their mighty efforts in bed!
So, boost his ego and be forthcoming with the compliments. He will no doubt make further efforts to double your pleasure in bed.
They love to fantasise
We know how that feels… we fantasise too, right? Although it’s more likely about things like those fabulous new shoes or a bag we have our eye on.
Well, men fantasize about things that are totally unrelated to bags and shoes. (But you already know that, right?)
If your partner has a particular fantasy, hear him out without passing judgement.
Better yet, while you are hearing him out, why not air out some of your deepest, darkest fantasies too?
Keep talking…
By talking, we don’t mean start going on about your day and what you had for lunch while having sex.
According to sex therapists, men like it when their women talk dirty to them.
If you are not a ‘dirty talk’ kind of girl though, don’t worry.
You can start by trying to communicate with your guy by either giving him directions on how to pleasure you or encouraging him when he’s doing something you love.
He’s more than just his…
Before making a beeline for your husband’s ‘goods’, take time to explore his other ‘erogenous zones’.
Tip: Ask him for directions, like where he wants to be touched. This will surely make your job a bit easier!
Have passionate/rough sex occasionally
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According to sex therapists, men want their wives to enjoy raw, rough sex, not just endure it.
Women shouldn’t take this personally or think that there’s something wrong with their relationship.
Remember, we mentioned how guys think of sex as a relaxing stress-buster? Sometimes all they want to do is ravish their wives — and it has nothing to do with dominating them.
Don’t be put off by his porn collection
Sex therapists say that this is one of the main reasons couples come to see them.
What these experts say is that getting aroused looking at porn and being addicted to porn are completely different things.
Men respond to visual stimulation, so they would naturally ‘respond’ to pornography.
However, you would know your man has a problem if he relies only on porn to get turned on.
These experts also say that just because porn is visually stimulating to a man, it doesn’t mean that he wants you to look or act like a porn star.
Phew, that’s a relief, isn’t it?
Some directions, please?
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Guys say that they love it when their women tell them what they like in bed. Things like when to speed up, when to slow down and when to stop.
Think about it ladies, you don’t have to grin and nod through gritted teeth the next time your man does something you don’t like.
So speak up… you don’t want a repeat performance of that, do you?
Of course, the same goes for something he does that you love! Go ahead and let him know about it!
The fun needn’t end when he loses an erection
When your man fails to ‘rise to the occasion’, the last thing you should say is “Aawww, it’s alright babe, let’s do it again another time.”
Instead, don’t make a big deal about it. Men say such a reaction makes them feel ashamed and emasculated.
When this happens, shift gears and try something else!
Now we’d like to know — prior to reading this list, did you know about these things husbands wish wives knew about sex?
Or maybe you have your own tips for spicing up your sex life… share your thoughts with us by leaving a comment below!
References: Shape, Woman’s Day