“Okay, here it is, your choice… it’s simple, her or me, and I’m sure she is really great. But Derek, I love you, in a really, really big ‘pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window’, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me, choose me, love me,” exclaims Meredith Grey to Derek Shepherd in the hit medical drama, Grey’s Anatomy .Pick me, choose me, love me….This phase has gained popularity and has been spoofed on mercilessly ever since it hit television. What spurs on a hysterical fit of laughter really hides an underlying truth – a pitiful cry of weakness. Asking someone out loud to love you seems to be a way of saying, ‘I can’t love myself so please help me to do it.’
The Importance of Loving Yourself
What makes a person not accept and love himself / herself? Low self-esteem. A surprisingly high number of people suffer from low self esteem. Often a person who has a low self esteem doesn’t love himself, making the feelings even worse.
Low self-esteem stems from a variety of issues. It could be perhaps due to ridicule of a certain feature or aspect of a person or the constant strain of comparing oneself to those of a higher calibre. A constant suffering of low esteem could lead to depression, at times. Loving yourself brings about self-confidence. However, the line between loving yourself and egoism is a thin one and you definitely do not want to go aboard with loving yourself. Everything has to be done in moderation.
How Do You Love Yourself?
Love yourself. A case of easier said than done. Exactly how do you go about loving yourself? You could give yourself a hug to begin with. Go on. Put your two arms across yourself and squeeze tight. There, felt good didn’t it?
Seriously, loving yourself requires nothing much. Think about what makes you the person you are. Who are you? Why are you, you? Love yourself for all the positive parts and accept your flaws. Just because you accept your flaws, doesn’t mean you are a weak person. It means you’re aware and kind to yourself for such acceptance. However, if you merely accept your flaws and do nothing about it, then you are indirectly accepting the need for no improvements to those flaws.
The next thing to loving yourself is to trust yourself. Trust yourself on your judgements. Having a ‘self-trust’ builds confidence. Also, be truthful to yourself. We don’t mean eat a chocolate cake and make yourself belief that it does nothing to your calorie intake. We are talking about emotions. Many people often lie to themselves about their own feelings. Acknowledge your sorrow as much as you acknowledge your happiness or vice versa. Do not deny yourself of truly feeling how you want to feel.
Make a list. Have two columns and in one column fill in the stuff you like about yourself. In the second column, fill in the things you do not like about yourself. As tempting as it may be to have the second column longer than the first, try to avoid doing that. If you have trouble with ‘The List’, have your spouse or a group of your close friends draw up the list of your positive points.
Loving yourself requires you to take care of yourself. If you were to go around proclaiming you love yourself to bits but neglect your health and overwork or overeating, then it makes no sense. As the popular phrase goes, your body is your temple.
Love the zest you have for life. Love everything unique about yourself. Love yourself. Marriages have been known to break due to lack of love individuals have for themselves. If you can’t love yourself, how could you expect anyone else to? By loving yourself and accepting yourself, you will be able to see your life in a more positive light.
Because it is only when you love yourself, that you can you love someone else unconditionally.