All marriages have their share of conflict and flare-ups, but some spouses have especially short tempers. It’s a common problem that affects many of us, including one user of theAsianparent Community, who asked anonymously, “How do you handle a situation with an angry husband?”
Here are some practical tips on how to help your spouse deal with anger issues, straight from the theAsianparent Community community:
Don’t reinforce his temper.
It’s normal to get upset when your spouse blasts off at you, like what Nooraini D. experienced: “It got on my nerves that I was being blamed for the littlest thing that wasn't even my mistake nor would it have made any difference to anything that would matter.”
The easy thing to do is to argue, but we suggest waiting it out and discussing things when he’s in a calmer state. “Don't fuel or encourage his anger by joining in his temper tantrum,” responded Idza B.
“Normally I will just walk away and do my thing,” added Jolin L.R. “If he comes to me and throws his temper I will say, ‘Talk to me when you are in a better mood.’ Or after 1-2 hrs, I will go to him and say, ‘Are you feeling better? Is now a good time to talk?’”
Put your relationship before your ego.
Unless he’s being abusive, you should prioritise your relationship above all. Remember to separate the man from his actions, and affirm him when you can. Avoid saying anything that could be damaging. “If two persons were to lose temper together, arguments are sure to occur and nasty words are exchanged, scarring the relationship,” wrote Kong M.
Hold your husband responsible.
Though you should continue to support your husband in spite of his temper, you shouldn’t let him off the hook for his bad behaviour. Bring up the problem when emotions aren’t high and talk things through. At the same time, don’t rush him to change. It’ll take some time for his temper to get better. Be patient, and don’t lose heart.
Be sure to check out theAsianparent Community for more insightful stories, questions, and answers from parents and experts alike. If you have any insights, questions or comments regarding the topic, please share them in our Comment box below.