“He’d scare the daylights out of me.”
It was reported that the 60-year-old father, who cannot be named for legal reasons, first raped his step-daughter when she was 15. She is now 29-years-old.
According to a statement made by the stepdaughter, her stepfather began touching her at the age of 14 and she lost her virginity to him at 15. She gave birth to her first child at the age of 16. But her father continued to have sex with her in her bedroom several times a week while everyone else in the house was asleep.
A jury at Burnley Court, Lancashire, UK heard a DVD recording about how the abuse resulted in the stepdaughter giving birth to four children. She was asked if she had wanted the children and replied: “They didn’t ask to be born but I love them.”
“Did you want these children with him as the biological father?” asked a female police officer.
“No, it was not my choice,” she said and referred to the fear of living with her stepfather, “It was not the life I chose but I had to accept it or he’d be very aggressive…he’d scare the daylights out of me.”
A life of abuse
Prosecutors described how the man controlled his children and his partners with verbal, physical and, in some cases, sexual abuse for over 20 years:
“I was always too scared of him,” stated his stepdaughter, “I was always scared of being on my own, I had nowhere to go, I had no money or nothing.’
Judge Jonathan Gibson told the jury the 60-year-old man has been declared unfit to plead to the charges due to his ‘deteriorating intellectual capacity’.
He faces 42 separate counts of abuse: these include, “seven counts of rape, six of causing actual bodily harm, 17 of child cruelty, seven of indecent assault, four of false imprisonment and one of damaging property.”
Victim’s mother turned a blind eye to stepdaughter’s abuse
The court heard how the family lived for short periods in Lancashire and in West Yorkshire. The alleged victim’s mother had started a relationship with the defendant and had previously had three children by him.
The stepdaughter said she gave birth to her children at home and was not allowed to go to hospital until she was eight months pregnant, when she would tell doctors she had had a one-night stand.
The stepdaughter said her mother knew about the incest but she had ‘turned a blind eye’ and that the rest of the family knew. She was asked why the defendant’s name was not on the birth certificates as the father of her four children.
“He said I’d get in a lot of trouble,” she claimed and added, “He said I would end up in prison for falsifying birth certificates.”
Trying to start a new life
In spite of the stepdaughter’s traumatic early life, she remains optimistic and determined to put her past behind her:
“Kids mean the world to me. I love them to bits.” she told police officers in the recording. She also added that she unconditionally loves her children, “I know it weren’t exactly right how they were made but I won’t take it out on them…They’re everything to me.”
Identifying signs of child abuse
Recognizing that a child is in danger can be tricky. Child abuse and neglect (especially sexual abuse) is often well concealed, especially when close family members are involved. This is when it is better to report suspected abuse than to say nothing and let a child continued to be hurt.
5 signs of child sexual abuse:
1. The child is unusually withdrawn in the presence of the perpetrator.
2. Difficulty in walking, going to the toilet and sitting may be signs of extreme physical hurt.
3. The child shows knowledge of sexual acts not appropriate for his or her age.
4. Makes deliberate efforts to avoid a certain person but won’t disclose why.
5. The child has a sexually-transmitted disease after medical examination.
Contact numbers
If you or someone you know is a victim of sexual abuse, remember that taking your life is never a solution. There are many avenues that you can reach out to if you are being sexually abused or having suicidal thoughts.
If you are uncomfortable talking to your family or loved ones, here are some organizations that you can contact for help:
Samaritans of Singapore (SOS): 1800-2214444
Singapore Association for Mental Health: 1800-2837019
Sage Counselling Centre: 1800-5555555
Care Corner Mandarin Counselling: 1800-3535800
Source: Daily Mail