What's the Best Method to Use in Sleep Training Baby? Here's What Every Sleep-Deprived Parent Needs to Know

An expert weighs in on the popular sleep training methods and why they fail.

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Has the time for you to consider sleep training your baby? If you’re unsure which method is suitable for you, read on.

New parents, if you could wish for one thing at this very moment, what would it be?

Before you had kids, you might have answered “a new house” or “the lottery!”

However, you realise as a new parent all you wish for is a good night’s rest.

At this point, you may have already discovered the challenges of parenthood. You’re constantly on alert and attentive to your little one’s needs at any given moment throughout the day. The only moment for respite is when they are asleep. But what do you do when your child refuses to hit the hay?

The Effects of Sleep Deprivation on Babies and Their Parents

Sleep is crucial for healthy growth and development in children and plays a vital role in the well-being of parents too. Discover how sleep deprivation affects different members of the family.

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For Children:

  1. Memory and Learning: Sleep is a time when the brain consolidates memories and learning. Sleep-deprived children may struggle with retaining information and focusing.

  2. Behavioural Problems: Poor sleep can lead to behavioural issues like hyperactivity, inattention, and oppositional behaviour. It may affect a child’s impulse control and decision-making abilities.

  3. Growth Hormone: Insufficient sleep, especially slow-wave sleep, can impact the secretion of growth hormones in children, affecting their physical development.

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  4. Physical Health: Sleep deprivation in kids is linked to type 2 diabetes, obesity, hypertension, reduced immunity, and cardiovascular issues.

For Parents:

  1. Daytime Alertness: Lack of sleep can lead to daytime sleepiness, affecting parents’ alertness and ability to function effectively throughout the day.

  2. Mood Disturbances: Sleep-deprived parents may experience mood swings, irritability, and higher stress levels, impacting their emotional well-being.

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  3. Parenting Challenges: Sleep deprivation can make it challenging for parents to respond calmly to their children’s needs, leading to difficulties in managing behaviour and routines.

  4. Physical Health: Sleep deprivation is associated with health issues like obesity, heart problems, and reduced immune function in adults.

  5. Postpartum Depression: Lack of sleep or fatigue among women who have just given birth puts them at risk for postpartum depression.

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What is Sleep Training

Sleep training is a valuable strategy that can help both babies and parents establish healthy sleep patterns and promote overall well-being. It’s like giving your little one the tools to doze off and snooze peacefully, all by themselves. While each family’s journey is unique, sleep training packs several perks that can significantly enhance the quality of life for both your bundle of joy and you.

Benefits of Sleep Training Your Baby

  1. Improved Sleep Quality: Sleep training can lead to longer and more consolidated sleep for your baby, meaning fewer middle-of-the-night wake-ups and more restful nights for you as well.

  2. Enhanced Daytime Functioning: When your baby gets the right amount of sleep, they’re more likely to be alert, attentive, and in a better mood during the day.

  3. Parental Well-being: By helping your baby develop independent sleep skills, sleep training can give parents a chance to catch some much-needed Zzz’s and recharge, leading to better mental and emotional health.

  4. Consistent Routine: Establishing a regular sleep routine through training can make bedtime and naps more predictable, making it easier for both you and your baby to plan the day.

  5. Self-Soothing Abilities: Sleep training methods encourage babies to soothe themselves to sleep, which fosters self-reliance and helps babies learn to settle back to sleep on their own if they wake up at night.

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  6. Family Bonding: With well-rested parents and a well-rested baby, you can enjoy more quality time and bonding moments during the day.

Remember, every baby is different, and what works best for one family might not be the same for another.

At What Age Should I Start Sleep Training My Baby

According to Leann Low, a Sleep Sense Certified Baby Sleep Consultant at Sleepy Bubba, instilling good sleep habits to your child can start as early as day one. However, 

“I recommend waiting until your baby is around four months old before beginning any kind of formal sleep training. At this age, babies have developed a more predictable sleep pattern and are better able to self-soothe,” she said.

Are there signs that point to sleep training readiness for baby?

“If your baby is taking only short naps (30 to 40 mins), consistently waking up throughout the night, seems to be unable to soothe themselves back to sleep, always grumpy, and falls sick often, it may be time to consider sleep training,” she added.

Will it be too late to sleep train an eight-month-old?

According to Leann, it is not too late to start sleep training an 8-month-old baby, but it may take longer for them to learn new sleep habits compared to younger babies.

“It’s never too late to establish healthy sleep habits. However, the older the child, the more challenging it may be to make changes. It’s important to be patient and consistent, and to involve your child in the process as much as possible,” said Leann. 

“Start by gradually moving your child to their own bed or room, and establish a consistent bedtime routine,” she added.

 4 Common Sleep Training Methods for Putting Baby to Sleep

Getting your baby to sleep through the night can be a challenge, but sleep training methods can provide effective solutions. Here are four common sleep training methods that parents often use to help their babies sleep peacefully. Each method comes with its own set of pros and cons.

Cry It Out Method

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You’ve probably heard of the “cry it out” (CIO) method, also known as the “extinction” approach.

The general idea is to put your baby down when it’s bedtime and let them cry until the morning. The theory is that your little one will learn how to self-soothe themselves to sleep and get into the correct sleep pattern. Perhaps the hardest part is the most crucial step—you can’t intervene and pick up the baby no matter how long they cry.

Typically, it takes about 3 to 7 nights for babies to adapt to this sleep training approach. 

At one point in time, parents subscribed to this approach. Enduring the relentless crying was generally accepted as one of the lows of parenting.

The major downside of this popular sleep training method is that it puts so much stress on both the child and the parents.  Babies may experience increased stress and crying, leading to emotional distress. On the other hand, hearing your baby cry can be emotionally challenging for parents, making this method difficult to implement.

Leann also does not recommend this particular sleep training method on babies. 

“I do not recommend cry-it-out. To teach your baby to fall asleep on their own when they waking up in the middle of the night, you can train them how to fall asleep independently, by establishing good sleep habits and schedule,” she said.

Thankfully, there are variations of the CIO method that are less emotionally taxing for you and your baby.

Graduated Extinction

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Dr David Ferber further developed the original CIO approach. This is where the term “ferberizing your baby” came from. 

The “Graduated Extinction” is the same in theory. In this method, you gradually let your baby “cry it out” to fall asleep. But unlike the earlier crying-it-out method, you can still respond to your baby’s cries throughout the night.You can slowly increase the intervals between response times and allow your baby to cry, which is believed to help them learn to fall asleep on their own in time.

The steps for the Ferber method are:

  • Put your baby down to sleep when they are drowsy
  • Leave the room
  • If your baby starts crying, wait for five minutes
  • Go in and comfort them, but don’t pick your baby up
  • When your baby is calm, leave the room again
  • Wait for eight minutes the next time your baby starts crying
  • Increase the waiting intervals gradually

The gradual approach may lead to less crying compared to cry it out method and it may take longer to see results compared to some other methods. But while it is physically more taxing as you’ll be in and out of your baby’s room frequently, your baby will be able to comfort themselves to sleep without any assistance in a week or two.

Bedtime Fading

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If the previous two methods seem too difficult for you to implement, try Bedtime Fading.

Instead of putting your children to bed according to a fixed schedule, you go with their timing. This particular sleep training method aligns your child’s sleep schedule with natural sleepiness so it can work well for babies with irregular sleep patterns.

The steps for this approach are as follows:

  • Take note of when your baby goes to bed, including nap times
  • Set a “wake” time which your baby will wake up to everyday
  • On the first night, delay your child’s sleep time by 30 minutes
  • If your child takes more than 20 minutes to fall asleep, delay your child’s sleep time by another 30 minutes 
  • Once you’ve found a time where your child falls asleep with minimal fuss, stick to this timing for three days straight
  • After three days of falling asleep peacefully, gradually move your baby’s sleep time earlier

It’s not as harsh as the first two approaches, so there’s less crying involved. Moreover, research indicates children fall asleep quicker and have fewer tantrums after Bedtime Fading was used.

The key to this approach is setting a consistent bedtime routine. It helps your little one associate bedtime with fun and relaxation, which makes it easier to fall asleep.

The downside to this sleep training method is that it may take longer to see results (duration may vary, with improvements seen over several weeks). It also requires close observation of baby’s sleep cues for it to be effective.

Scheduled Awakenings

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Scheduled Awakenings is an approach that focuses on reducing the number of times your child wakes in the middle of the night, rather than helping them fall asleep.

The steps include:

  • Make a note of when your child wakes up during night time
  • Wake your baby up 15 to 30 minutes before they normally stir
  • Spend time comforting and soothing your little one back to sleep
  • Gradually fade out scheduled awakenings

This method can be useful if your baby seems to have problems staying asleep during the night.

It’s common that babies aged 7 to 10 months wake up at least once per night. It can be due to many reasons, but don’t lose hope! Your little one’s bedtime routine will settle normally after a week.

Don’t worry if you aren’t sure which method is best. Research shows that all of the aforementioned approaches lead to improved sleep! 

Sleep Training Baby: Frequently Asked Questions

In the recently concluded Singapore Parenting Festival, Leann answered common questions parents have about sleep training:

How can I train my newborn to sleep through the night?

“Newborns typically need to wake up and feed during the night, so it’s not realistic to expect them to sleep through the night right away. However, you can start establishing healthy sleep habits from the beginning by establishing a consistent bedtime routine, creating a calm sleep environment, and teaching your baby to self-soothe.

You can also try to encourage longer stretches of sleep by gradually increasing the amount of time between feedings at night.”

How to sleep train while breastfeeding?

It is common for babies to need to be latched to sleep, especially at 3 months old. However, it can become a sleep association that may make it difficult for your baby to fall back asleep on their own when they wake up during the night. Gradually helping your baby learn to fall asleep without being latched, such as using the eat-play-sleep routine, may be helpful.

How do you deal with sleep regression?

Sleep regression is a common phenomenon that occurs when a baby who was previously sleeping well suddenly begins to have difficulty sleeping. It can be caused by a variety of factors, including growth spurts, teething, developmental milestones, or changes in routine.

The best way to handle a sleep regression is to continue with consistent sleep routines and offer comfort and reassurance to the baby as needed.

Check out Leann’s answer to more FAQs related to baby sleep here. 

Image Source: iStock

Baby Sleep Routine

To help your baby learn how to fall asleep independently, Leann recommends the “eat-play-sleep” routine and use the recommended wake windows as a gauge to how long babies should stay awake. 

 The “eat-play-sleep” routine starts with feeding your baby when they wake up from sleep. This can be a breast or bottle feed, followed by some playtime with your baby. Playtime can involve things like tummy time, singing, talking, or playing with toys. After playtime, it’s time for your baby to sleep,” she explained.

Leann believes that the “eat-play-sleep” routine helps your baby to develop good sleep habits by ensuring that they don’t associate eating with sleeping. It also helps you to establish a predictable routine for your baby, which can help them feel more secure and comfortable.

Why Sleep Training Fails

Of course, getting your baby to sleep can seem like an uphill struggle. It’s part and parcel of parenthood. But much of it, we hate to say, is also partly our fault. When we didn’t know better, we might have instilled some practices that can make it harder for our babies to learn to sleep independently.  

For instance, raise your hand if you’re fond of swaying your baby until they fall asleep (hands raised here).  So, what does our sleep expert have to say about this?

“It is common for newborns to have sleep associations, such as being rocked or swayed, to fall asleep. However, these sleep associations can become problematic if the baby is unable to fall asleep without them.

If your baby becomes reliant on this method to fall asleep, it may become more difficult to transition them to falling asleep independently,” said Leann.

You need to gradually wean your baby off of being rocked to sleep as they get older, so that they can learn to fall asleep on their own. To correct this, Leann recommends introducing other calming techniques, such as white noise, and slowly reducing the amount of swaying or rocking. 

Are they all bad habits?

“It is true that some habits, such as rocking or nursing a baby to sleep, can become sleep associations that may make it difficult for the baby to sleep independently,” said Leann.

“However, it is important to note that not all habits are bad and that each family should find a sleep routine that works best for them and their baby. If a habit is causing sleep problems, it is possible to gradually transition the baby to a new sleep association over time.”

From bad habits to sleeping independently

To change a bad habit of a baby not sleeping independently, you can look into the whole day schedule, make sure she is not overtired or undertired, follow the eat-play-sleep routine, putting them down in their crib while they awake.

Image Source: iStock

Ultimately, the goal of sleep training is to empower your child to sleep independently, fostering a sense of security and well-being.

As your little one gradually learns the art of falling asleep on their own, both you and your baby will reap the rewards of improved sleep quality, enhanced family bonding, and the cultivation of healthy sleep patterns that contribute to their overall development and happiness.

So, don’t give up, mums and dads, do whatever it takes to get a good night’s rest for you and your little one. We’re rooting for you!

as told by Dr. Aaron E. Carroll

Updates from Camille Eusebio

Here at theAsianparent Singapore, it’s important for us to give information that is correct, significant, and timely. But this doesn’t serve as an alternative for medical advice or medical treatment. theAsianparent Singapore is not responsible for those that would choose to drink medicines based on information from our website. If you have any doubts, we recommend consulting your doctor for clearer information.

Written by

Vinnie Wong