Birthdays are monumental affairs especially for young children, so one can only imagine the horror of having possibly his/her most anticipated moment in ruins (Read: having your own birthday candle forcefully blown out).
Such was the case between Maria Eduarda, 3, and her older sister Maria Antonia, 6, who were embroiled in a scuffle during the 3-year-old’s birthday party.
Sisters Fighting Over Blowing Out Birthday Candle
Captured in a 25-second video clip that has gone massively viral on social media, Maria Eduarda was celebrating her 3rd birthday in Pato Branco, Brazil on October 18. She stood enthusiastically behind her 3rd birthday cake, clapping as her family sings to her.
However, as she leaned in to blow out her candles, her older sister, Antonia, unexpectedly swept in to blow them out just before she managed to do so herself. Enraged, Eduarda turned to look at her sister who displayed a smug look on her face while doing a little shrug with her shoulders.
Sisters fighting over blowing out birthday candle: the stare-down between the siblings. | Image source: Twitter Screengrab
The 3-year-old immediately yanked her sister’s hair and pinned her down, subsequently breaking into tears.
Image source: Twitter Screengrab
While others intervened and tried to separate the sisters from fighting, it was not long before the 3-year-old grabbed onto her sister’s hair once again. Her sister, however, remained unaffected and kept a mischievous smile on her face.
Eduarda’s outbursts continued, stomping onto the chair she was standing on several times, as seen in the video posted by the girls’ aunt Gabriela Aureluk.
The video was initially posted on Instagram but gained traction only after it was re-posted on Twitter, TikTok and Facebook.
“I started shooting the congratulations and Maria Antonia was there with a frown, because she didn’t want to be singing congratulations to her sister, and Maria Eduarda was happy [to be the center of attention at her birthday]”, said the aunt to Brazilian media outlet Hugo Gloss.
However, the short clip that has taken social media by storm only showed part of what went on between the sisters.
The family had re-lit the candles after her older sister left the area and the 3-year-old managed to blow out her own birthday candle afterward.
“Then we calmed Maria Antonia and she even went there, helped her sister cut the cake. It’s that relationship of sisters. One hour they are slapping, another time they are hugging,” said Aureluk to Hugo Gloss.
She also shared that the sisters get along well, and a fight between sisters is “normal”.
How To Deal With Sibling Rivalry Better
When there is more than one child in the equation, arguments and fights between the little ones are bound to happen. While happily playing with one another, fights can break out in just a matter of seconds.
For parents, it can be a stressful situation, and being tactful is key. Here’s how to tackle such a situation without losing your marbles.
1) Introduce a ‘hands-off’ rule
According to Mayo Clinic, sibling rivalry may include behaviour such as hitting, name-calling, bickering, and immature behavior.
It can help when parents make it known to children beforehand that such methods are not appropriate to solving problems. By reminding children of the ‘hands-off’ rule implemented, it seeks to remind them that they have overstepped their boundaries and have not expressed themselves in an appropriate manner.
To mediate the situation, parents can ask: “How will you fix this situation?”
2) Give children equal opportunities to be in charge of themselves
More often than ever, the older sibling is given the responsibility of taking charge of their younger sibling, just because he/she is the older sibling.
However, this may create a sense of hierarchy and children may exert their ‘authority’ inappropriately. This could only apply when a child has the maturity to tackle such sibling dynamics.
As a parent, trust that your children, no matter what their birth order is, are able to be responsible for themselves. It not only teaches the younger ones to step up but also encourages the older ones to accept that others have flaws too—instead of being a tattletale when things go awry.
Image source: iStock Sisters Fighting Over Blowing Out Birthday Candle
3) Importance of one-on-one time with each child
All children crave attention, but more so when it comes to positive attention from whom they deem as role models.
When children are able to receive such attention from their main caregivers, in particular, they do not need to resort to other ways to exert their wants, which may include engaging in negative behaviour.
It helps when parents give kids a little of what they need every day, to strengthen the parent-child relationship. When their relationship with you improve, they may see a lesser need to reassure their place by constantly comparing with their own siblings.
4) Don’t intervene unnecessarily
Sibling rivalry can be in a sense, healthy if dealt with in an appropriate manner. Not only that, it also presents opportunities for children to learn and grow alongside each other.
For parents, understand that when such conflicts happen, the problem is theirs to solve. Let them work it out together, without taking any sides.
Parents can try saying: “Sounds like you guys/girls have got a problem here…”
This allows your children to reflect on whether it is indeed a problem and remind them that it is something that they have to sort out together.
Image source: Twitter screengrab
ALSO READ:
How to defuse sibling rivalry and feuds between your kids
How to Avoid Sibling Rivalry So Your Children Can Become Best Friends as Adults