Sure, there's the diapers, tantrums, screams and well, everything else. But are we all forgetting about the inner struggles of parenting?
Here's a list of the struggles that comes with being a mum that almost no one else can see but them!
#1 Accepting the fact that parenting is a two-way thing
"The feeling of being in charge is like toxic."
It's tough having to share the responsibility of being in charge with your hubby. I mean, you ARE the queen of the house though, right? But face it mummies, although daddy wakes up a little too late, carries the baby like a sack of potatoes and ties the diapers too loosely, you still need daddy around.
The difference in parenting styles will be a benefit for the kids because here's the thing, kids want to be loved in different ways. Come on mummy, as long as dad's parenting style is safe, it's totally okay!
#2 Dealing with separation anxiety
"No, not the kid's. Mine! I dreaded my kid's first day of preschool, and primary school, and yes, secondary school. It was madness!"
Every mum has been through this stage. Or rather, stages. It's like having every single memory with your little one flashed before your eyes. Right from when you first found out that you were preggie! Time flies, doesn't it? The hardest part is when you think you've got it all under control and all that and then you have your kid running up to you screaming and bawling that she doesn't want you to leave!
Solution: understand that what you're feeling is anxiety and you should separate it from your kid's. Realise that even when they're crying, they'll be fine 5 minutes after you leave. Also, adapting to new environments is a NEED in your kid's growing up process.
#3 Setting expectations low
"As much as I want my kid to be a child piano prodigy, I have to accept the fact that maybe, my kid's just not as musically inclined as the previous 10 generations of this family."
No, stop writing lists on what you want your child to achieve by the end of the year, or before he graduates from primary school. Stop pushing your child to be outspoken when she's clearly a wallflower. Because when your kids don't live up to your expectations, things CAN get ugly because you're bound to be disappointed in them.
What we fail to realise is that as much as we want our kids to achieve these things, we didn't. So, why would we expect these of them? Your child is unique. They aren't where you want them to be but that doesn't mean you still can't be a proud parent!
#4 Letting go
"My kid falls after running recklessly and I find myself blaming the floor and not him. Let's think about that for a second."
Yes, your kids can go to that 3D2N school camp at Pulau Ubin and no, there won't be ghosts or kidnappers or any of those bad stuff. Take a chill parents, you wouldn't want to see your kids cooped up in their shell of comfort ten years down the road!
It's easy to go overboard with being protective but let your kids make mistakes and let them get hurt. You'd be surprised at how fast they learn through their mistakes without you following their every move all the way!
#5 Guilt
"I found it really hard going back to work after the 16 weeks of maternity leave. I even contemplated about being a housewife!"
Most parents found it hard to be strict with their kids because of the guilt we'd feel afterwards. Or we go from 100 to 0 after scolding them because of the look on their faces. Don't let it bug you, though! It's totally normal to feel this way, especially in the early stages of parenting.
Solution: be firm with yourself. Don't let your guard down even with your kids crying and bawling. Never feel guilty about going back to work! As long as your kids are well taken care of, it's going to be okay.
#6 Sleep deprivation
"It wasn't as difficult at first as I thought it would be but even when my kid is already walking and talking, I still find myself barely surviving with minimal amount of sleep for weeks!"
Sleep deprivation is one of the most predictable factors of being a parent and yes, even at 9 months, your kids would still be getting up 2 times a night! Dealing with the fatigue would not only be taking a toll on your physical health, it might also be affecting the relationship you have with your husband.
It is important to accept that this is all part of parenting! Now we know how our parents felt when they were raising us!
Parents, can you relate to any of these struggles? Share your thoughts with us!