We saw this news headline — Singapore boy rapes younger sister — and we were shocked and horrified. How can this happen? And what took place before the boy raped his own sister?
Singapore Boy Rapes Younger Sister: A Horrifying String of Events
He was just 12 years old, and his little sister, only 10. It was 2013. It was also the year the boy started to watch pornography.
One day, the siblings were home alone, and reportedly, the boy was watching porn. When he got sexually aroused, he looked for his sister to satiate his desires.
So he first told his little sister that he would tell their parents that she used her mobile phone if she did not listen to him. Then, he raped her without using a condom, only stopping when she screamed out in pain.
Their parents found out that the boy had also fondled the little girl’s genital area several times. While the parents did not lodge a police report at the time, both children were referred to a counsellor since 2014.
At the same time, the boy was sent to his grandparents’ house to put distance between him and his little sister. Six months after this, the boy was allowed to return home, as his counsellor felt he had progressed well.
One night in August 2016, the boy reportedly “felt a strong sexual urge.” So he went to his sister’s room and asked her to follow him back to his bed. He then fondled her private parts.
It was only after this that the matter was taken up by the Child Protective Service of the Ministry of Social and Family Development.
And in April 2017, the children’s mother lodged a police report against her son.
The girl will take a long time to heal due to her brother’s actions. | Image source: File photo
Singapore Boy Rapes Younger Sister and Pleads Guilty, Mother Asks for Leniency
On Monday June 4, 2018, the now 17-year-old boy was “convicted of sexually assaulting his younger sister in their Jurong East flat and of using criminal force with the intent to outrage her modesty,” says a Channel NewsAsia report.
He pleaded guilty to one charge of sexual assault and another charge of “using criminal force with the intent to outrage her modesty.”
The boy was confident his little sister would not tell her parents what her brother did, said Deputy Public Prosecutor Raja Mohan at the hearing. Meanwhile, District Judge May Mesenas, said the young girl will take a long time to heal due to her brother’s actions.
“I can’t imagine what your sister had to go through,” she said.
The children’s mother, meanwhile, broke down and asked for leniency for her son. The boy is reported to have apologised to his sister and also stated that he did not get the correct treatment after his first offence against her.
On 8 Aug 2018, the boy was sentenced to probation for 1 year and nine months. The court also stipulated that the boy could not live under the same roof as girls aged under 16. Any contact with his sister, now 15, must be supervised by an adult at all times.
The District Judge also stressed that his parents monitor his Internet usage, and a filter be installed on his mobile communication devices.
According to The Straits Times, the District Judge told the boy, “You have to respect women… You need to reset your mindset on the way you see females.”
Real Dangers of Porn on Children
Recently, we brought you an article about a group of young boys who gang-raped an eight-year-old girl after being exposed to porn. And now this. As you can remember, the boy of this story first raped his sister in the year he started to watch porn.
Pornography is a serious menace. How can you protect your kids from it, and what should you do if you catch your child watching it?
Reza Indragiri, forensic psychologist and Head of Fulfillment of Children’s Rights and the Institution for Protection of Indonesian Children, explains why:
“When children watch such explicit content, they will try to copy this behaviour in real life. They might not know that their actions can cause suffering and are dangerous, and may not have any sexual motives.
However, understanding a rapist’s mindset does risk them to raping again in the future. Thus, even the perpetrators can also be considered victims, as they have to undergo rehabilitation.”
Here’s how you can protect your kids from porn:
1. Remain Calm
Being overly-emotional, angry, concerned and confused is normal… but won’t get you anywhere. Perhaps these words are enough to describe your feelings as a parent when you first find out that your child often watches adult videos. However, the first thing you must do is to calm yourself down. This is so that you can begin a conversation with your child in an even-tempered manner.
2. Avoid Scolding Them
Trust us, scolding a kid after catching him viewing inappropriate content doesn’t work. It will only make him find a thousand excuses to justify his actions. Not only that, children can argue back, too.
Instead, what needs to be done is to talk with your child and get him to open up to you. Don’t forget to rope in your hubby! He can give reminders and explain to your child the risks of frequently watching pornographic videos.
3. Provide Additional Supervision or Surveillance
What else can you do once you know that your child frequently watches pornographic videos? Parents can take the extra step by providing extra supervision at home and in school. This includes limiting their access to viewing adult videos and being wary of who they befriend.
Source: Channel NewsAsia, The Straits Times
Also read: Primary-school age boys gang-rape eight-year-old girl