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Mum Needs Help: My child started learning piano since age 3.5. All along he doesn’t have interest, but I made him do it for development reason. Just want him to have a base in music. He has been asking me to let him quit since age 5 (he is 7 now). Some people advise me not to force him to do what he doesn’t like, but some (music teachers) say I shouldn’t give up and just let him carry on. What should I do?
Phylicia Yang: Dun force him. U won’t want your child to hate u forever right? If ur child is not interested dun force. I’m sure forcing him to do something he doesn’t like doesn’t help him develop. Music teachers want your moolah that’s why advise u not to quit what..
Aida Gaban: I second not to force a kid into anything they don’t fancy.for sake of exposure,i think he has enuff of it,3 yrs plus now.probably a diff instrument might interest him?or a diff field?arts,comp perhaps?I hv frens who was forced,they resent their parents.don’t want that to happen 2 our parent-child r/ship would we?
Maryjane Yanez Sudario: Enrol him in group class then got fun or Ask advise to My boss she the principal in music School all our students enjoy her class her no. 0123888570 she is very nice .
Catherine Yeo: Ya I also agree that you should not force ur kid, just like my gal now she is taking music class now n enjoy it alot that I think is good. But somehow if in the further she tell mi that she is not interested with it I will stop her but try to introduction some other program. As they have to learn with their heart n if they are not really interest it’s just a waste of $$ coz they will not make use of this skill in further.
Jessica Goh BC: Dun force a Kid to do wat he/she dislike. Of course, we must also have a proper conversation with them before we make any decision. Force them will make them rebel more.
Saodah Hasbolla: It is good to expose our chn as many opportunities as possible and from all these exposures we can develop further their interests and skills. Imagine as adults we are force to work on something we dont fancy so what more for children. To me, maximum learning takes place when the child is happy and enjoys the learning process:)
Joling Lim: since he got some music foundation…why not ask him what he loves to play…eg. drum…
Yi Xuan: I can totally understand ur position 🙂 Hows his progress in learning piano by now since u started him at three half? If he is doing fine n doesn’t drag himself to music sch, n the only thing he does negatively is by saying he wanna stop, then if I were u, I may continue his piano class. If he is crying every lesson, kicking n jumping n pulling a … See Morelong face for each lesson, yes I would stop. To me, most children never learn all the way in something so I think a lil pushing is ok n good. But if he is crying n really showing his great dislike in every lesson, then why not change to something else he like? Else haha just stay on lar!
Leong PinPin: Agree wif yi xuan wat grade is he now
Myra Tay: yeah no use forcing, he wilk hate the piano all his life. Perhaps it’s the teacher’s method/approach he dislikes. Can change teacher / instrument? Music appreciation comes from parents too. Not only tru learning the piano. My kids started with Musikgarten syllabus & my son is now starting on keyboard 1st. They both are enjoying themselves.
Neil Ramchandani: If we hates playing the piano, don’t force him. You can’t make someone interested in something when he is genuinely not interested. You have to take this time to find out what else he may be interested in…another instrument? Sports? Karate? Gymnastics? I know you want your kid to be developed and educated but most of all, its gotta make him happy.
Now in my 30’s I’m taking classes again on my own terms…
Fung Yee Loh: Don’t force him ! rather of wasting his childhood/time in something he dislikes, might as well give him the chance to learn in the field which is his talent !
Salina Jaffar: My parents made me go to piano classes when I was a kid. I think I did it for about 6 years. The teacher was awful & used to beat my knuckles every time I played a wrong note. Hated every minute of it, never practiced & after all that, can’t even play one song.
Aileen Tay: Don’t force him..waste your money only! I bugged my parents to let me take piano lessons when I was little but lost interest after a short while. My parents forced me to continue and I hated every minute of it. I managed to scrape through the exams and gave it up, using PSLE as excuse. I don’t remember a single thing and the piano is still collecting dust at my parents’ place!
How Choon Ling: Thank u every1 for your advice/opinions. He started in grp class then 1-1. Passed grade 1 practical last yr, now doing gr2 but i’m letting him skip exams since it is stressful for both him n myself, on top of sch hmwk. Exams not my aim and purpose. He used to dread lessons and practice. Now better with practice as I try to motivate him n also … See Morehe’s more mature nw. He does it more to pls me. But ea time he comes out fr lesson he looks v down as he gets lots of scoldings. 🙁 He is going thru smthg like wat Salina went thru. His tcher says his progress is v slow, attention span v short. I’ve sat in few lessons. Tchr is v fierce, not patient, result oriented. I feel this makes him lose self confidence. Tts y I wanna try another tchr, some1 who is gd at bringing out the interest in kids. Me no music background, but love piano, but this doesn’t influence him. I’ve been thinking like Yi Xuan (n another piano tchr i spoke to) tt kids need a lil pushing…, tts y hv been holding on n didn’t easily let him quit. Bt am also afraid he’ll hate piano for life, like wat Myra said. He tried to find ways to escape fr piano by askg to do smthg else like guitar (n oth programmes) to replace piano, bt tchr said he’s too young for it n piano is still the most basic to all oth musical instruments.
Wong Yin Yee: Please do not force your child, esp when he showed progress only to please or impress you. I had a very bad experience with my son. I encouraged him to join story-telling competition in his school, and personally trained him for that. Although he hinted to me few times that he was not interested, I asked him to give it a try first. He did perfectly… See More well in front of me and his daddy. He even gave some suggestion on improving the actions and intonation. But he lost during the competition. What surprised me was that the reason for losing was not due to stage fright, but because he said he doesn’t want to do it, hence do not put in his effort to win. He just mumbled out the whole story without any action in order to get over it fast. He was suffering inside and I wasted my time doing something that he doesn’t like. Poor boy 🙁
Sharon Teh: A change of teacher may help. One of my piano teachers used to hit my back or my knuckles with a metal ruler if I did not sit straight enough or my fingers did not curve the way he wanted it. The way I type on a computer keyboard now looks like I am playing the piano (!!) but with the benefit of hindsight, I do not agree with his method of … See Moreteaching. A teacher instills love for the subject (whether it be an academic subject or a non-academic one) in the student and should not make the child turn away from it.
Tay Pei Yee: Maybe find out from child what he dislike? knowing the reason may help better facilitate a wiser decision. If it is really piano child dislike, then no force. Maybe there are other music instruments that speaks to him more or maybe he is more into something else right now. see what he wants.
Chong Leng Li: My nephew dislike piano lessons, sitting thru without absorbing anything, but he loves his art classes and will ask his dad to enrol him in art classes or competitions in shopping centres etc. And there his creativity shines! Finding out what he really like will help to make him confident and happy. Don’t force him to live your dream for you. I don’t think my son is musically inclined too, even if I think a guy playing a piano is so cool! There is only 1 childhood, and lots of time for him to pick up piano as an adult if he really likes it later in life. If he is a music protegee, it would had shown after all these years invested in him.
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If your son’s attention span is short generally, then it is hard to endure practices that keeps repeating itself. If it is only short during piano lessons, then actions had really speaks louder than words.
Jo-Ann Hernandez: For so many years he is consistent that he didn;t like what he is doing and it will cause distress in the future. Maybe you can ask him what does he really want. Parents knows waht’s the best for their kids, but at the end of the day, the EQ of the child will become affected in the future.
Mary.m Shysta: He is not too young for guitar. My husband is a music teacher who uses the fun approach especially with children. He doesn’t teach piano but his youngest and best student, who is 5 yrs old, is taking keyboard lessons with him. My husband focuses on teaching music as an expression, not to score grades. Like everything else, children learn faster when he adopts a fun approach. He’s also NIE Trained.
Shirley Soh Sally: I would prefer him to enjoy the lessons..initially he does not enjoy as he is an active boy..after a few lessons, he started to enjoy..he wanted to continue the lessons after I asked him. It was juz like abacus, his skool teaches abacus n i asked if he is interested to learn extra and he said no, so i din enrol him any… the most impt point is ur … See Morechild muz be able to enjoy n able to absorb wat he learns if not, it will be a torture for the child as well as for the parents…and a waste of time & $
Joanne Lum Siew Lan: Parents may want the best for their kids. But forcing by parents is the worst nightmare for kids too. Could you imagine yourself in nightmares more than 2 years? You should take all the above advice & not the music teachers’. They play a different role. Remember, children need adults to listen to them too. Hope you’ll make a wise decision for the best interest of your child. All the best!
Siti Mulianah Jumari: Well, you can persuade them to try something new to see if they likes it. But after a few lessons if they still do not show interest, it is best to stop. In my opinion, they will show full potential only if they are interested in it. Furthermore, each human being is different. They have own likes, potential and natural abilities. Even little … See Moretoddlers. So, just continue to explore other ways as well. It’s not just piano that could be good for him. Every thing he learns will have benefits. Be open =)
Jessie Seah: should let your son quits. no interest cannot develop the potential fully and also will make him miserable.
Joy Bea Lee: agree
Livian Wan: Yes! I will stop him. Put yrself in his shoe, will u be happy if someone insists u to do something u dun enjoy? Try find out fm him his interest. My son interest is drum. I oso in the midst of deciding…..
Veronica Lew: hmmm..my opinion is dun force kids on things they dun lyk..letvthem choose wat they wan..
Joanne Lum Siew Lan: Yes. Please stop his class for his best interest. Forcing would not help in any development. Hope you’ll make a wise decision 🙂
Ai Lin: Veronica is so right. Children must enjoy and have fun with what they do. Otherwise, we will be sending the wrong message. Ultimately, we want our children to have passion rather than being a normal person doing things they “should” do. Without joy, their mind are closed.
Durga Arivan: Should work on his interests , as 3.5 is too early to decide his likes for particular instrument. Let him enjoy music in his own way.
Dheeraj Khiatani: I agree. I myself personally was forced to take piano lessons when i was younger. I reached Grade 4 and then finally convinced my parents to let me stop taking lessons. Today i cant even play a single song on the piano. I think it’s because i had no interest in learning it at all. Sometimes i used to cry when the teacher rang the doorbell also.
Find out what your child is interested in and then nurture it by letting him/her better him/herself in that area.
Interest and passion in whatever you do is of utmost importance.
Find out what your child is interested in and then nurture it by letting him/her better him/herself in that area.
Interest and passion in whatever you do is of utmost importance.
Katherine Soh: just try to recall how we were forced to do stuff by our parents and you’ll know the right thing to do *wink*
Lucy Tan Tan Lin: Hi,do let him quit if he don’t like,or try another teacher first. Btw I was once a unhappy kid that practice 1 to 2 hr a day…until grade 5 /6 thru many many years.
Dheeraj Khiatani: also another thought is to maybe try let him do another musical instrument, maybe guitar or something if he is more interested in that.
How Choon Ling: Thanks for sharing your views and experiences. 🙂 I’ve arrived at a decision now.
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