Mothers are supposed to protect and love their children. But sadly, there are some mums who don't do this. Did you know that sexually abusive mothers actually exist?
Sexually abusive mothers: Aussie mum sexually abuses own children to please men online
One Australian mum was recently convicted with over 17 years of imprisonment. The mum, one of many sexually abusive mothers, was guilty of performing and recording sex acts with her kids: a son and two daughters.
The 31-year-old mum's name could not be disclosed due to legal reasons. She has been accused of sexually abusing her three children for the sake of impressing the men she encountered online.
The culprit was punished for 25 years of imprisonment at most. She says her motive came from the admiration her online audience gave her.
The Sydney Morning Herald reports that the mum was guilty of making and distributing online child pornography for two years. Phillip Mahony, her District Court judge, explained that the footage showed her male audience online that the mum sought a relationship:
“She said she committed the offenses out of thinking that men may feel something for her if she satisfied them. She had used her children as a means of getting attention from men. The offender received no money for doing so, just psychological benefits that flowed from the men’s affection and attention.”
Furthermore, Mahony added the mum was obsessed with sexual fetishes of submission and degradation.
In 2014, she even offered a man she met online into her house. The male stranger then sexually abused one of the mum's daughters.
Apparently, the mum dated men online from 2013. On July 20, she admitted to eight accusations. These included having intercourse with a child under 10 and keeping child abuse material.
"I hate myself for what I did"
Authorities arrested the woman after the International Sexual Exploitation Database (ISED) received three among the many videos she made.
The ISED is run by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children in America.
However, in a conversation with Christopher Lennings, a forensic psychologist, the culprit appeared remorseful. She said to him that she regretted her actions and relieved when police apprehended her:
“I hate myself for what I did. In all reality I don’t understand why I did it… I thought they [the men] had feelings for me.”
This isn't the first case of sexually abusive mothers hurting their kids. In August, another Aussie mum was charged for teaching her daughter, aged 14, sexual techniques and distributing pornographic pictures to men. Apparently, she wanted to indirectly live life through her daughter.
The mum went so far as forcing her child to visit men for sex and purchased her contraception.
How to teach your child to protect themselves from sexual abuse: Safe / not safe touch
In an article for Huffington Post, Mary L. Pulido, the Executive Director of the New York Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children, says that parents should start educating their children about sexual abuse and how to protect themselves from it as early as possible.
She recommends steering away from the commonly recommended “good versus bad” touch discussion and instead talk about “safe versus not safe” touch.
This makes it much clearer for the child in terms of what is right and wrong. For example, sometimes a “good” touch, like examination by a medical practitioner, can feel bad to the child, and bad touch, such as inappropriate fondling, can feel “good.” The term “safe/ not safe” gets rid of this confusion.
You can also give examples to your child of safe touches, like mummy giving her a bath, or daddy changing didi‘s diapers. Then move on to bad touches.
Pulido actually gives a script for parents to follow: “Sometimes there are people, and they could even be people that you know and like, that may try to touch your private parts in ways that make you feel sad, mad, confused or uncomfortable. These are not safe touches.The person may tell you that it’s a game, or that you will like these touches.”
After this, talk to your child about telling you or another trusted adult if this ever happens to them. What is important, says Pulido, “is that the child keeps telling until someone believes them and takes action.”
You should also talk about what your child should do if the perpetrator tells the child to keep the abuse a secret. The following is the conversation that Pulido recommends:
“Even if the person who is touching you makes you promise not to tell, or tells you that they will be mad at you or they may hurt you, or someone you love, if you tell, that does not matter. What they are doing is bad and not your fault. You must not keep it a secret, you must tell me right away. Then, I promise that I will take the steps needed to keep you safe.”
Remember to reinforce that sexual abuse is never the child’s fault. It is always the abuser’s fault.
Mums, we hope that this article on other sexually abusive mothers has been helpful in giving you insight on how to better protect your child from sexual abuse. If you like this article, please share it on your social media platform!
Reference: Newsweek
Also Read:
Mum gets 10 years in prison for her 'dirty' breastfeeding videos with son
Telltale signs that an adult is indulging in child sexual abuse
Why you need to talk to your child about sexual abuse now!