A new mum or the mum of a toddler (or two or three) is usually running on empty, so to speak. By the end of the day, the only thing you want to do when your head hits the pillow is sleep.
Yes, there was a time when sleeping was the secondary purpose of your bed, but those days seem long ago and far away.
Your sex life is far from what it used to be; not by choice, but by the shear nature of what it takes to be a mom.
And if you add working outside the home to the mix, you’re really short on energy.
I am too tired for sex – Is there something wrong with me
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Does being too tired for sex mean there’s something wrong with you? Are you inadequate? Are you doing something wrong? No. No. And no again.
Being too tired for sex means you need to enlist the help of your spouse, your mother, a close friend or other family members to help with the baby once in a while so you can catch up on some much-needed rest and time with your hubby.
Being too tired for sex may also indicate you’re simply trying to do too much. So what if the floor doesn’t get swept every day or spaghetti is your go-to meal for a quick dinner more often than usual.
What you can do if you are too tired for sex
Sex tip 1: Ease back into things
Pregnancy and childbirth change your body as well as your lifestyle. Things will never be exactly the same as they were pre-baby. Give yourself the full 6 weeks to heal after delivery.
Sex tip 2: Don’t be self-conscious
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Don’t feel embarrassed or self-conscious if your breasts leak during sex. It’s a hormonal thing and it happens. Also, if you are uncomfortable with the pressure on your breasts during the close contact with your husband, try to either feed your baby or express milk just prior to having sex.
Sex tip 3: Pretty yourself with lingerie
Buy something new and sexy. Yes, you may still be wearing some of your baby weight, but don’t let that stop you from recognizing how beautiful you are and the fact that your body has just done the most amazing thing possible-produce a new life.
Sex tip 4: Use lubrication
Even if you’ve not needed it in the past, breastfeeding and post-pregnancy hormone levels can cause vaginal dryness. You’ll also likely experience a bit of pain the first few times your husband penetrates you. It’s to be expected, so go slow and don’t panic-it does get better and those great sensations do return.
Sex tip 5: It’s about the ambience
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Set the mood with candles and music. You’re tired and adjusting to your new life. Don’t expect everything to ‘just happen’ as it did before. Make it happen.
Sex tip 6: Communicate
Many new moms can’t get past the changes in their body (baby weight). They feel less than desirable-to the point of convincing themselves that their husbands feel the same way.
If this is you, talk to your husband. Be honest about how you feel about yourself and ask him to help you get back on track by watching the baby while you work out, eating a healthy diet with you and by being your emotional cheerleader and encourager.
Offer reassurance
One of the biggest problems with the sex life of new parents is the fact that Daddy often feels neglected. It’s not a matter of not loving their baby or resenting this new and wonderful little person in your lives, but missing what once was in the way of sex just is.
As a wife, you need to reassure your husband that your feelings for him haven’t changed and that you still find him desirable; that you too want a healthy sex life.
Be honest, however, in expressing your need for rest. Come together as a couple and work together to creating a new romantic and sexual atmosphere and attitude in your marriage that will work for a couple with a baby in the house.