The nagging pain from delivery, raging hormones, postpartum depression, awkward changes to your body, and the exhaustion from the entire experience. These are just some of the things you might feel after having your baby, which can be a total mood killer for those mums out there who want to get back into bed to get busy with their husbands.
You may start to feel more sensitive around areas that usually aren’t, or you may even find yourself having a higher or lower sex drive than usual. Fret not, every woman is different and it is possible to resume your sex life after having a baby. Here are 8 tips to help bring back the passion into your post-baby sex life.
#1 Check with your doctor
It is usually best to seek advice from your doctor as to when you’re able to have sex again after giving birth, as it varies for different women.
#2 Accept your body changes
Your boobs may leak, your C-section scar may be visible, but that doesn’t mean that you aren’t sexy. It takes a while for women to feel confident about themselves again. Accept these changes to your body, and note that they are scars from bringing new life into this world. How wonderful is that! Your husband definitely won’t mind any of these body changes – he’ll be happy to finally get some action again.
#3 Lube it up!
You heard me, ladies! Even if you’ve never used it before, vaginal dryness can happen as breastfeeding may reduce estrogen, according to Rachel Needle, Psy.D., a licensed psychologist and executive director at the Whole Health Psychological Center in West Palm Beach, Florida. We wouldn’t want it to hurt while we are trying to get back into the game now, do we?
#4 Do what makes you comfortable
If you get tired halfway through sex, or you’ve only got just about enough energy to make out, tell yourself that it’s okay! Before sex, you and your partner may want to try cuddling, or slow massages, or even taking a shower together to put you in the mood. Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist from California who works with new parents, reminds all that intimacy isn’t limited to intercourse.
#5 Masturbate
Am I reading this right? Why?
Well, Marin says that “our body has not been fully yours for almost a year, and it’s time to start redeveloping your relationship with it”. Include your partner in on it too if you’re feeling frisky, it’s bound to spice up your sex life as you slowly start to rediscover yourself again.
#6 Don’t think about it so much!
Mulling over the fact that your sex life isn’t the same, isn’t going to do any good for you and your partner. This can lead up to frustrations and you both may start to drift. Do what makes you comfortable, and there are plenty of other ways to show your love for each other that don’t require sex – like cuddling, going on dates, watching a movie and many more.
#7 Birth control
Unless you’re planning to have kids the size of a football team, it’s best to start taking birth control to avoid getting pregnant soon after giving birth.
#8 Do Kegel exercises
This will help strengthen the muscles in your vagina and will make sex more enjoyable for your partner and you.
What are some other tips that you mummies have for others? Share with us in the comments below!