Hosting a party is not all fun and games. There is a lot of hard work and planning that goes behind it. While the thought of chilling with your friends and family may look relaxing, but the thought of cooking, cleaning and organising can make anybody panic. In an ideal scenario, you and your husband would decide to share the load if you throw a party. Right?
But unfortunately, this is not what generally happens. There are many households that still believe that a woman’s responsibility lies in serving your husband.
One mum took to Reddit to share her frustration of what happened when her husband decided to throw a BBQ party for his friends and she refused to help. The party was nothing less than a disaster!
Woman Asked To ‘Help’ Husband During His BBQ Party
screengrab: Reddit
“So, my husband likes to invite his friends (note: HIS friends. I am not close with them) for barbecue parties. He prides himself on his BBQ skills. The thing is… I always end up doing everything! He buys and preps the meat and then grills and serves it (and collects praise for his BBQ skills),” she wrote.
The mum added that her husband’s parties have been non-stop work for her.
“I have to buy drinks, get out enough dishes, clean up the patio/deck. I prepare the sides and veggies, refill the drinks and take away dishes (we don’t use paper plates or plastic cups since I find it wasteful) so as to keep the main table tidy. It’s just nonstop work for me,” she shared.
“The” Guys’ Night Turned Into A Cleaner’s Night For The Mum
The woman shared that last week her husband announced that his friends were coming over. “I said well okay, do I know anyone? Nope, those are his workmates and they won’t be bringing their spouses. My husband called it a “guys’ night”. I said okay then, guys’ night, well enjoy yourselves, I will be in my craft room working on some of my projects and drinking wine. He said he will handle it,” she said.
Unfortunately, her husband failed “big time” and it was anything far from “handling.” Everything was in a complete mess.
“He got the meat alright, but just ignored any other preparation and I was just so sick and tired of being taken for granted (he never asks me for help, I just do stuff…) so I didn’t do anything.”
“The patio was a mess, the upholstery of the garden furniture was all messy from our dogs, the table wasn’t wiped down, there was stuff lying all around,” the mum noted.
On realising what it was, her husband started asking for food items. “Where are the plates, where are the cups, why isn’t the beer chilled, where is the non-alcoholic beer – did I not buy it? Where are the sides? I just replied that he said he would handle it all himself.”
The woman checked on the party and found everything in disarray. There wasn’t enough silverware, the table looked like a bomb site and someone had to go drive for drinks.
The next day, the woman’s husband was grumpy with her and told her that he is, “disappointed that I didn’t pull my weight and that I made our family look sloppy and bad.”
“I told him that I am not his little housewife and that he is a big guy and if he embarrassed himself in front of his workmates, that’s all on him. And that I’m glad that he can see at least a tiny bit of work that I do around the house, ” she told him.
The woman asked Reddit users if her response was fair.
Other Mums Supported This Fed-up Mum
Screengrab: Reddit
“In fact… you are my HERO. Your husband can kick rocks. If he wants to look at the person who failed, he just needs to look at himself in the mirror,” said one user.
Others agreed that her husband needs to put on the independent big boy pants and take responsibility for his actions. There were some who found the husband’s behaviour extremely childish.
“If the husband threw the party, he should have planned better. He should have done all of the prep work, and clean up after. He is acting like a child,” said the user.
Another Redditor pointed, “Is he always this entitled? Rethink your entire relationship dynamic if he is and start demanding the kind of treatment you deserve.”
Serving Your Husband: 4 Ways To Change This Situation
In a relationship, as a wife, you should also learn to say No. Image courtesy: iStock
Having an understanding partner is the bedrock of any relationship. It is important to remember that your responsibility as a wife don’t lie in serving your husband. The same goes for him too. Any relationship can only survive when both partner put qual eight behind it.
But if you are also in the same boat as this women, here are a few things that can help resolve the conflict.
Don’t impose your opinions
A modern day relationship demands that both partners contribute equally. This means whether it is household chores, taking care of the finances or the kids, responsibility rests on both.
For instance, the Reddit user’s husband should have asked his wife about inviting his friends home. It is wrong to impose one’s decision on the other partner and that is exactly what he did.
Appreciate and contribute
This is for all the men out there! You may have a stay-at-home partner or a working one, you must learn to appreciate everything they do. After all, they don’t gain anything by washing your dirty clothes. Neither will it make you less of a man if you helped your wife with the dishes or the laundry.
In fact, sharing the load will only help you both get closer and finish the work faster.
Communicate with each other
If something is bothering you, talk to your partner about it. Sometimes differences crop up in a relationship, but it is important to talk and sort them out.
Instead of bottling up your feelings, its best to come clean in order to reach a collective solution.
Learn to say NO!, if and when relevant
Ladies, this is the most important part and perhaps you already know it! You can’t expect people to take you for granted or use you as a doormat. You have to learn to say No! Serving your husband and family is not your duty. You do it because you love them.
Your partner and your family should also learn to reciprocate the same for you. Otherwise, it becomes an unequal relationship and unhappy families.
What would you do if you are in this situation? Do you believe in serving your husband or do you ask him to pull his weight around the house?
News source: Reddit
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