I never thought that I would be singing those lines of Sheena Easton’s song again. When I got married five years ago, I told myself never to leave my husband’s side. We might have misunderstandings but I would never want to stay far away from him.
I know how difficult it is to keep a long distance love affair. I have known of families being broken up because of the spouses’ infidelity or indiscretions due to being away from each other.
Once, my husband told me of a broken relationship between his friend and his wife because the man had an affair with another woman while he was working abroad.
I also heard of stories of overseas workers coming back to their home country to broken families because their spouses had extramarital affairs while they were away. I wouldn’t want it to happen to my marriage and I would not want to work abroad, given a choice.
However, circumstances changed and we had to think about what is best for our family and children’s future. When an opportunity came for me to work abroad, it was a difficult decision for my husband and I.
For the sake of a better future, we decided that I would work overseas and be away from my children.
In spite of the 11, 602km distance between us, my husband and I are constantly thinking of ways to keep our relationship strong. Here are some ideas we want to share with you:
Talk to each other daily.
Communication is key and vital. Keep this in mind when you are away from each other. Never take for granted the time you spend to call, email, chat, or text to your spouse daily. You can forget to speak with your friends or colleagues but not with your wife or husband.
When I first came to a new country, I made sure that I have access to the internet because it was the easiest and most inexpensive way to communicate with my husband. I couldn’t imagine my life without constant communication with him or my children. If you noticed that your spouse has not communicated with you, don’t let the day go by without taking the initiative to text or send a message through Yahoo mail, Facebook or other social media sites. If you do not have access to the internet, use your mobile phone or landline to call instead. Don’t count how much it costs but count what matters, that is, you are able to talk to each other. As the saying goes, “if there’s a will, there’s a way.”
Be understanding and trusting.
When your spouse is not able to speak with you, try to be understanding of his/her situation. There are times when I could not contact my husband for an entire day. Once, he was not available online to chat with me. Neither had he text me. I called him on the phone but he did not respond. I became anxious, worried, and sad. Well, I guess this is all part and parcel of my decision to work abroad. However, I found out later that he was really very tired that day with all that he has to do and had gone to bed early with our children.
Renew your commitment to each other daily.
Your vow to stay together through thick and thin doesn’t just apply when you are near each other. It is especially so when you are far from each other. Express your love by sending love notes and messages and saying by “I love you” daily. This will remind you of your commitment to love each other no matter what happens.
Share stories to each other.
Update each other with what is happening or going on around you. It is such a great feeling that you still know what is happening with your spouse even when you are not there with him or her.
Be open and be honest with each other.
Share your thoughts and feelings while you talk or chat with your spouse. For example, when I shared with my husband that I miss him and our children so much that I yearn to return home, my husband encouraged me to overcome those feelings of homesickness and offered solace in our common goal. My husband also shared with me his difficulties in managing the family tasks in my absence and I told him that he can do it. So, do not be afraid to open up to each other. It is through such encouragement and support that you grow as husband and wife.
Greet each other on your special occasions.
Even if you are not in the habit of celebrating your birthday, anniversary or Valentine’s Day, it will mean a lot to your partner if you express that you were thinking of him or her on those days. This is in fact the best time to make him or her feel that he or she is the most special person in your life. If you can’t send fresh flowers, you can send a bouquet of flowers through the internet or an e-card. Go ahead make use of technology!
Reminisce your moments together.
Look at pictures of you and your spouse together which will remind you of happy memories and sweet laughter the two of you share. It will brighten up your days and bring fondness to your heart especially during the times when you feel sad and lonely. When you remember the moments you had, you get more excited for the time when you will be together again, just as I anticipate going home and being in the arms of my husband again.
Stay away from temptation.
Temptations come and go but they stay and taunt you when you go near them. So, don’t allow yourself to become vulnerable by going with any person you know will make you turn your affection away from your spouse. Be cautious and wary of friendships with the opposite sex that will cause you to be unfaithful.
Don’t allow the fire and passion of your love for each other be extinguished by time and distance. Instead, transform the time when you are apart to strengthen your love and relationship for one and other.