Raising an Olympic athlete is no small feat. It requires not only immense dedication from the athlete but also unwavering support from their parents. Melanie Chew, a former showjumper and former President of the Equestrian Federation of Singapore (2007–2017), has firsthand experience raising not one but two high-performing competitive equestrians, Caroline and Catherine Chew. Melanie’s daughters have represented Singapore on numerous prestigious stages—Catherine as a finalist in two Asian Games and five SEA Games, and Caroline as she gears up for the Paris 2024 Olympic Games.
In a candid conversation with TheAsianParent, Melanie shared the invaluable lessons she’s learned through her journey as a parent, coach, and mentor. Below, we explore her advice for parents who are raising or supporting children aspiring to compete at the highest levels of sport.
Joy is the Cornerstone
For Melanie, the journey begins with joy. “Whether you’re raising an Olympian, an artist, or an engineer, the most important thing is making sure your child finds joy in what they do,” she explains. According to her, this joy is what will carry the child through the gruelling journey of competitive sports.
Melanie acknowledges that in sports, discipline is always stressed, but joy is often overlooked. It is easy to get caught up in the pressures of winning and competing at the highest level, but without genuine happiness, the journey becomes unsustainable. “I tell parents, don’t take my word for it—just try it. The happiness principle works wonders,” she says, referring to the importance of maintaining a joyful atmosphere at home. “If your child feels happy, all the right hormones bubble up, and the relationship between parent and child becomes far less painful.”
Melanie describes joy as a “habit” that she has nurtured in her own family, where, despite the challenges, they find ways to keep happiness at the forefront. “I’ve raised two boys and two girls, and we’ve always prioritised joy in our family. When we’re together, we’re having fun—it’s a habit.”
The Three Pillars: Love, Compassion, and Support
For parents raising an aspiring Olympian, Melanie emphasises three crucial elements: love, compassion, and support.
Love
According to Melanie, showing abundant love is essential, especially when children face the intense pressures of competitive sports. “In sports, you lose more often than you win,” she says. “If your child doesn’t feel good about themselves, you must be there to pick them up and encourage them to try again tomorrow.” Melanie points out that without the foundation of love, the journey to becoming a champion could easily turn into a nightmare for both child and parent.
Compassion
Melanie stresses that compassion is about sharing every step of the journey, including the painful moments. “Competitive sports can be a rollercoaster of emotions. If your child is feeling low, don’t ask them to ‘snap out of it.’ Work through it with them.” She notes that even simple things, like going out for a meal or a shopping trip, can help ease the burden of disappointment. “When my daughters faced tough times, I made sure I was there to share in their struggles. That’s what compassion looks like.”
Support
The final pillar, Melanie explains, is ensuring that as a parent, you are knowledgeable about the sport your child is pursuing. “I’ve been on this journey for over 25 years, from the very beginning to the Olympic Games,” she says. “You have to understand what’s required at every stage. At times, this meant taking Catherine to Germany to learn from the best coaches or sourcing resources for Caroline’s training.” As they advance in their careers, the sacrifices become greater, but Melanie emphasises the importance of being prepared for the financial, emotional, and logistical challenges. “The closer they get to their Olympic goal, the tougher it gets as a parent. You have to be ready for that.”
Parenting for the Long Game
Melanie points out that raising an Olympic athlete isn’t just about pushing them to win medals—it’s about nurturing them as individuals. “For parents of aspiring athletes, the first thing you need to do is examine your child’s motivation. Is this something they truly want? What is their goal—to be the best in the country, the region, or the world? Olympic sports are not for everyone. They require sacrifice, dedication, and resources.”
But the sacrifices should never come at the expense of the child’s happiness. Melanie shares that many parents she counselled as a sports leader often lost sight of this. “There are parents who give up their jobs or make other big sacrifices, hoping their child will succeed in sports, but that should never be the reason why the child pursues it. The child needs to be doing it for themselves.”
At the heart of Melanie’s approach is a focus on accountability and responsibility. “Your child’s job is to excel in the sport, but your job as a parent is to support them through it all.” She underscores the importance of allowing children to be children, even while they strive for greatness. “Your child already has enough to handle trying to become an Olympic athlete—they shouldn’t have to worry about making anyone else happy.”
A Lifelong Commitment to Equestrianism
Beyond raising her own children, Melanie’s passion for equestrianism extends to the broader community. She founded EQUAL, a charity that uses equine-assisted programs to help at-risk children in their healing journeys. For Melanie, equestrianism is not just a sport but a medium through which she hopes to help others.
“I’ve tried to mould my parenting style around love, compassion, and support, and I believe these values extend beyond the family,” she says. When talking to other parents, Melanie hopes to bring the same joy and healing she’s found in horses to kids and families in need.
Takeaway
Raising an Olympic athlete is no easy task, but Melanie Chew’s insights provide a valuable roadmap for parents who find themselves on this unique path. With love, compassion, and unwavering support, the journey to the Olympics—while challenging—can be an opportunity for joy, growth, and lifelong fulfilment. As Melanie says, “At the end of the day, it’s about making sure your child finds joy in what they do. If you can nurture that, you’ve already won.”
‘As a Child I Dreamt of Being an Olympian’: Michelle Yeoh Elected to International Olympic Committee
Nada Hafez Fences at Paris Olympics While Pregnant — And Slays It!
Parenting lessons from athletes: raising children the Olympian way