10 Quiet Sex Tips for Mums (for When the Kids Have Fallen Asleep)

When you have kids, it doesn’t mean you have to give up sex… it simply means you have to have sex quietly. We have the pleasure (get it?) of presenting you with our top 10 tips (tried and tested out by Singaporean mummies) on having shushed sex after the kids have gone to bed. Now… get to it!

1. Pull an Edward Cullen in Twilight and become a pillow biter. When you’re tempted to make a loud noise, bite on the pillow. Easy peasy, and oh so sexy!
2. Place an air purifier in your kids’ bedrooms to drown out any amorous sounds from down the hall. So sneaky!
3. Make love face-to-face. Kiss your man when you’re tempted to scream. This will muffle the noise and get you closer to him.
4. Extend your breath to slow down. The benefits can include more intense and multiple orgasms as well as a quieter ride. Ah, and it definitely amps up the sexy!
5. Find a new way to communicate in bed. Instead of grunts and moans, use words.
6. Keep your mouth busy, do the 69. Your mouths will be too occupied to be loud. And boy, will you be enjoying the stimulation. Win-win!
7. Do it in the shower. Running water drowns out sound and even if the kids do wake up for a moment, they will only hear the water running.
8. Time to get kinky! If he’s getting noisy, try using a gag. Roll up a t-shirt or stuff a (clean) ball of socks into his mouth. This will teach him to be silent.
9. Forgo your bed. Come on, just for a bit, mummy! Try a standing position. Or a more stable chair… maybe even throw a comforter onto the floor.
10. One word. ORAL. Tease, titillate and pull out all the stops to drive your husband wild. Watch him struggle to control his moans and groans. This can be fun!