I bought new pillows for the bed last month.
There, I’ve said it. Like a new car, one of my home’s most overlooked object has finally received a complete overhaul and replaced with a newer, sexier version.
Structural and foundation works needed to be in place and a complete facelift was necessary for it to look like it’s worth her salt in a home that has seen new bedsheets come and go, the bed upgraded from a double to a queen and even witnessed Michele having an affair with a pregnancy pillow with my full permission.
Our last set of trusty pillows – all five of them – saw us through our dating days, our cohabitation days, our major fights, major droolage and right up till the day we got married.
That’s six years our tired heads found their resting place each night. They cost $10 each.
I know what you’re thinking. Six years for a set of pillows? We have been checked for hair lice and I’m proud to say we’re clean. But that’s not the subject of my article today.
Oh, Trusty Pillows how we miss thee!
Image source: iStock
Wikipedia suggests a good pillow provides support and comfort in the bed, and I will not beg to differ.
With over 2,500 hours in a year, it’s completely appropriate to have inappropriate relationships with your trusty pillows. After all, we do spend over a third of our lives with them.
Our old set of trusty pillows was like a family you could always rely on.
A couple of them came in really handy during sex as according to Michele it enhances the pleasure. They were found mostly at the bottom, either folded or double-stacked but never disappointed us. Like a Toyota, they were efficient, cost-effective but really boring to look at.
One could never have enough pillows. I used to get up in the morning to find two or three kicked unceremoniously onto the floor and almost feel like apologizing to them. They do however come in handy when Michele and I engaged in a pillow fight or require them for a good old fashioned prop up the back for a better posture while reading, watching the television or just browsing on the laptop.
After marriage, we knew kids were on the immediate agenda so the same trusty pillows became our contortionist friends as they were moulded to keep Michele propped up in the best sexual position for conceiving. Oh, what wonderful nights those were as Michele became a willing participant in threesomes and foursomes.
Only a trusty pillow would allow a married man such rights. But don’t tell your missus I said so.
Your sex life should only be as good as the expiration date of your pillow
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A few months into Michele’s pregnancy, we told the pillows we were inviting a stranger into the bed and asked for their forgiveness. The trusty pillows were no longer able to support Michele’s belly as she lay on her side and a pregnancy pillow was needed. Not only is the pillow longer and fuller, it allowed Michele to have a more comfortable night’s sleep.
A month after Michele gave birth, I thanked the pregnancy pillow for a job well done and packed it away into the linen cabinet. My old sets of trusty pillows were glad to see it go.
By this time the pillows were already in need of a replacement. A recent health article suggested we should swap old pillows for new every two years as they are a hotbed for diseases and organisms.
Such was our love for the trusty pillows, we soldiered on with them. They provided adequate cover for Levi as we bunkered him down behind a wall of pillows in the first four months when I left for work in the morning. As he slept between us, the pillows were a comfortable barrier which prevented him from rolling over.
Them trusty pillows also saw through some difficult periods in the last year when Michele had to tend to Levi alone while nursing a raging fever, and likewise, Levi too when a life-threatening 40 degrees fever brought down a laughing, excitable baby to a crying mess.
A future with our new pillows
Image source: iStock
It’s amazing what the old pillows saw in the last eleven months, let alone their entire life cycle. Michele and I were extremely sad to see them go into the waste for they were past their use-by date and were beginning to look quite – for the lack of a better word – mouldy.
Our new pillows were purchased during a pillow sale. Polyester filled and lined, they cost $5 for a set of three. They were never able to replace the memories of our old pillows but will be around enough to watch Levi take his first steps and perhaps participate in another threesome with Michele and I as we try for a second child.
There’s a good reason why they were priced so cheaply. After a few nights sleeping in them, Michele and I found ourselves fluffing them up more often than not as they didn’t fill up as easily.
Just like any new relationship, however, these pillows will require time to get used to us and our habits.
Until then, we’d just have to keep wondering how much more comfortable our nights of sleep would be had we paid $70 for a top of the line pillow.