Recognising the phrases narcissists use is essential for anyone who has ever found themselves in a disagreement with a narcissist. Navigating arguments with such individuals can be incredibly frustrating. They often twist words and manipulate situations to gain control. Let’s explore some common phrases that narcissists use during conflicts, and how they can affect you.
1. “You’re Overreacting”
One of the first phrases you might hear is, “You’re overreacting.” When a narcissist says this, they aim to dismiss your feelings entirely. It can be bewildering. You might think, “Am I really overreacting?” Their intention is to shift the focus away from their actions and make you doubt your own feelings. Instead of addressing the issue, they make you feel like the problem is yours. It’s a classic tactic designed to avoid accountability.
2. “I’m Not Angry, You’re Angry”
Another common phrase is, “I’m not angry; you’re angry.” This statement often leaves you feeling confused. Narcissists project their emotions onto you, claiming that you are the one with the anger issues. This deflection creates an uncomfortable atmosphere. It makes it difficult to express your feelings or concerns because you might start questioning your own emotions.
3. “I Can’t Believe You’re Attacking Me, I Always Get Blamed”
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You may also encounter the phrase, “I can’t believe you’re attacking me; I always get blamed.” Here, narcissists often position themselves as victims. This tactic is meant to gain sympathy and divert attention away from their behaviour. By claiming they are the ones being wronged, they can manipulate the conversation. As a result, you may find yourself feeling guilty for addressing legitimate concerns.
4. “If You Loved Me, You Would Do This”
When conflicts arise, narcissists may resort to emotional manipulation. A phrase like, “If you loved me, you would do this,” can be particularly damaging. It places unreasonable expectations on you and makes you feel guilty for not meeting their demands. This kind of language can be hard to resist. You may feel the need to compromise your own feelings just to appease them.
5. “You Should Have Known I Was Upset”
Expecting you to read their mind is another common tactic. When they say, “You should have known I was upset,” it can be incredibly frustrating. Narcissists often think that their feelings should be obvious to you. This statement creates undue pressure, forcing you to second-guess yourself. You might feel anxious, as if you have to tiptoe around their emotions.
6. Long-Winded Expressions That Don’t Touch on the Point
Lastly, you might notice a tendency towards long-winded explanations. Narcissists can engage in what’s often called “word salad.” This means they ramble on, discussing unrelated topics and creating confusion. As a result, you might lose track of the argument entirely. You started the discussion about an issue, and suddenly you’re discussing everything under the sun. This technique is designed to distract you from the original concern, leaving you feeling bewildered.
Final Thoughts
Being aware of the phrases narcissists use during arguments can help you maintain your emotional well-being. If you find yourself frequently entangled in these manipulative tactics, it’s crucial to prioritise your mental health. Seeking support from a therapist can be immensely helpful. A professional can assist you in navigating these complicated dynamics and provide you with coping strategies.
Establishing boundaries is essential when interacting with narcissists. By understanding their tactics, you can protect yourself and foster healthier relationships. It’s vital to remember that you are not alone, and there are ways to reclaim your power in these difficult situations.
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