Parenting by Lying: How Fibbing to Kids Shapes Their Honesty

So, you know those little fibs parents sometimes tell their kids to keep them in line? Turns out, they might be doing more harm than good. That’s what the folks at NTU found out when they looked into how parenting by lying impacts children’s honesty.

Types of Lies: Instrumental vs. White

Let’s break it down. There are two types of lies parents commonly tell their kids: instrumental lies and white lies. Instrumental lies are the ones aimed at changing a child’s behaviour, like threatening to call the police when they misbehave or promising a trip to Disneyland if they finish their homework.

The Impact of Instrumental Lies

Now, here’s the kicker: the more kids are exposed to these instrumental lies, the more likely they are to fib to their parents. Yup, you read that right. It’s like a vicious cycle of dishonesty.

White Lies: Harmless or Harmful?

But wait, there’s more. Even those little white lies, you know, the ones meant to spare a child’s feelings or boost their morale, can backfire. Turns out, if kids catch on to these fibs, they’re more inclined to lie themselves. It’s like they’re taking a page out of their parents’ playbook.

So, how did the researchers figure all this out? Well, they surveyed over 500 parent-child pairs in Singapore, focusing on kids aged 11 to 12. They asked both parents and children about their lying behaviours, using a scale to rate how often they fibbed.

Findings and Implications

And what did they find? Children who were exposed to instrumental lies seemed to think lying was a pretty handy tool. Maybe they figured if mum and dad could get away with it, why couldn’t they?

As for those white lies, they seemed harmless at first. But if kids caught wind of them, they were more likely to fib themselves. It’s like they were following their parents’ lead, for better or for worse.

Rethinking Parenting Strategies

So, what’s the takeaway from all this? Well, according to Associate Professor Setoh, who led the study, parents should think twice before resorting to lies to manage their kids’ behaviour. After all, parents are supposed to be role models, right?

Instead, maybe it’s time to focus on building trust and open communication with our kids. Because in the long run, honesty really is the best policy.

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