Our traumatising and emotional journey begun on Nov 12, 2009 when my sister in law Jamuna Rani, passed away in her sleep causing lotsa distress and emotional feelings to all around us. As we begin to recover from the untimely passing of my sister in law, just exactly a month after, my dad in law met a motor accident and broke his leg, which required him to have immediate surgery and putting a plate inside to enable him to walk as normal. He just turned 73 last week. Then as he was recovering from all the surgery and medical follow up, we had to deal with another blow, when my mom was admitted in hospital in February last year in Ipoh General Hospital, for first time we detected she had a heart problem. Subsequently she was again admitted in GH Ipoh in March and referred to the IJN ( National Heart Centre in KL).
On March 8 another blow, took place when my uncle’s son Yuvaraj Mari was taken away from his family and all of us in a tragic motor accident. My mom was depressed with this lost Uncle Mari’s family has to go through and she was warded in the hospital at that time.
A silver lining
In between all these blows after blows we were getting, in February last year we discovered my wife was pregnant with our 3rd child. It was a news with mixed feelings, either we leap for joy or be sad and think if we really need a 3rd one in midst of all this problems we are facing. We have not even gone to the financial means of having a 3rd baby yet then!
My mom always tell me to have one more child and she said it will be a girl. She said I should have a baby girl! I told her its God who decide if its a girl or a boy and what happen if I get a boy again? Already half of my crowning glory has gone with 2 boys, the 3rd boy will definitely take away what that little hair that remains!
On April 8 last year I brought my mom to KL to enable her to be admitted in IJN and do the necessity to correct her heart problem. But on Apr 10 she had Short of Breath (S.O.B) and I rushed her to the Serdang Hospital which was nearest to me in Puchong. she was discharged from there and was asked straight to take her to IJN. On Apr 11 she was admitted in IJN, on the 12th of April an Angiogram was performed on her where it was detected she had 3 blocks in her artery and kinda critical, an immediate surgery need to be done.
Knowing IJN with so many heart surgeries to be performed, we can never get a very near date for surgery and we have to wait for sometimes to do it after numerous appointments. But to our surprise, on Apr 13 we were informed by the Myanmarese Doctor, Dr. Khin, that my mom’s op will be performed on the next day on Apr 14. We were elated that we got such a quick date for the Operation.
I was there with here , pushing her to the Operating theatre, my mom was brave woman, she said she has no fear of the operation and she will come out soon. After the operation that took a few hours she was wheeled to the ICU for the initial care. She regained consciousness the next day and was ready to be fed with some porridge. my sister May Max Well was feeding her, and she insisted to May that I should feed her instead in sign language as she was still weak to talk.
On Apr 19, my mom was almost fully in control of herself and already transferred to the normal ward. But she was asked to perform some strenous physiotheraphy exercises in the physio room, where family members are not allowed to come in. On this same day last year my wife and I went for the medical check up for her pregnancy, and in the scan it was revealed, our next litte one is confirmed a baby girl! It was an exciting day for us. We visited mom in IJN and told her the exciting news of her next grandchild that gonna be a girl. She was excited with the news. But just an hour after we left the hospital, mom had a multiple infarction stroke, kinda very serious stroke. No doctors came to her aid immediately in IJN despite informing the nurses. Only next morning after the CTScan it was revealed that she had multiple stroke and no promises hold for her future. She remained unconscious for almost 2 months in IJN, with oxygen mask, and later tracheostomy, to keep her breathing.
Eventually she did open her eyes, but those eyes had no more vision , with bad stroke that affected her eye muscles. From there we were told to bring her to KLGH for follow up phsyio but we were unlucky as in KLGH she went back into coma stage. From there we transfered her to Ipoh GH closer to home, where she spent another 1 month with my dad taking care of her day and night. We managed to discharge her and take her home in bedridden condition. Sometimes she remembers things and sometimes she doesn’t. My dad took care of her at home.
The birth of Evisya
Our baby was born on this date 21st September 2010. Due to the baby’s breech position, my wife has to undergo a caesarian operation. So the doctor has given us the choice to decide on the date and time we want the baby to be delivered. While we have no particular preferences on dates and times or astrology, we choose 21st Sepetember 2011 as on this date, my ex boss, brother and friend, Mr. Parbodh Kumar Joshi celebrates his birthday.
Why choose your ex boss birth date? Aren’t ex bosses suppose to be hated people and maybe the reason you left the company? You may ask; but when I had undergone one of the most difficult period in my life, jobless and seeking for a job, I sent resume after resume to this Pharmaceutical company that was based walking distance from my home then in Wangsa Maju. One fine day was called for an interview, not because he was going to offer me a job, but to see who was this guy who was persistently sending in resume so many times! He told me I wanted to see who you are but have no position to offer you currently in KL! Then he told me however there is one vacancy in JB, am I willing to accept it? At my situation at that time , all I needed was a job , no matter even it was in Timbaktu! I gladly accepted and relocated myself to JB.
Mr. Joshi is a man with persistent hard work, never give up attitude and sometimes can be very fierce! But I had this very special bond with him from the day I joined Healol Pharmaceutical. From Johor I was transferred to Kedah and later to KL. In all this journey in Healol my boss was my constant guidance and motivator. I have turned so much so in his kinda work attitude of never say die, in my present post. He was there at my marriage, and I personally thanked him on my marriage day for bringing me that far from zero to being able to get married. And not only that one of those advise he gave me after I newly got married, is have your first child soon, the second you take your time. I had my first just exactly 10 months after marriage.
One of those things in life that we must never forget , the little things or even the big things that individuals around you, helped you to shape your life and bringing where you are today. And I am taught from young not to forget my roots and people who helped me along the way. I never fail to wish my ex boss Happy Birthday, every year, like I just did a few minutes ago through sms. When I was given the choice of date to choose for my daughter’s delivery, I told my wife that we will choose Mr. Joshi’s birth date and she agreed willingly as she knows that I always have a very special place in my heart for Mr. Joshi. I want my daughter to possess the same kind of strong mentality and never give up attitude like him.
My bedridden mom, didn’t know of my child’s birth, was unable to see her as she was visually impaired after the stroke, but some months later one or two months before her passing on April 21st last year, she feeled my daughter and with a joyous smile on her face. Though she wasn’t able to see, she was able to feel the baby.
Our harrowing journey continued as we were told some months later that my daughter has duplex kidney, in another word she has 3 instead of 2! But the 3rd may be like a skin extension and may or may not cause problem like Urinary Tract Infection and Kidney infections. We did a test recently in SJMC Hospital where a form of die , injected in her urethra to detect if she has reflux problem when urinating. Thank God the Almighty that she doesn’t have that and we were told nothing to worry. But in future we should watch out this aspect as she grows.
Back to today
I have been through one horrifying year and before I realised it, my little angel has turned 1. While I face all the test and tribulations in life God gave me this little angel to keep smiling 🙂 and forgetting all my sorrows. My mom knew I guess she was going away and she wanted me to have a baby girl, and as I look at my daughter, I see my mom’s face in her!
I am celebrating my daughter’s first birthday today , with a very simple devotional gathering at my home. As we are still reeling out from my mom’s passing we opt to skip any grand celebrations which we would have done and love to do if only we never had all this sorrows behind our head.
The best Birthday gift for my little Angel EVISYA XIMENA SARAVANEN is a little prayer from all of you, for her growth and progress in life. Thanking all of you in advance.
note : Evisya (Avisha) is a Hebrew word means the ‘Gift of God’ whereas XIMENA is a latin word , that means Listener, you can say her name means ‘GIFT OF GOD-THE LISTENER’.