It was only a year ago when Hong Kong actress Alice Chan revealed she had been divorced from ex-husband James Yen since 2012. She had married the Taiwanese businessman in 2008. In a recent interview, the top TVB actress shed more light into the circumstances behind the divorce – no intimacy in marriage from husband.
No intimacy in marriage from husband
No intimacy in marriage from husband was why TVB actress Alice Chan got divorced. | Source: File photo
Alice Chan was riding high in the world of show business when she shocked fans in 2008 with her marriage to James and subsequent retirement from the industry. She left for Thailand and kept out of the public eye until she reemerged in 2012.
Alice confesses that life in Thailand wasn’t like the happy ever after you see in movies.
Instead of revelling in the lifestyles of the rich and famous, Alice was forced to became a housewife against her will – staying at home to cook and clean the house. Her husband was always busy with business and rarely came home to be with her.
The actress also mentioned how they had a non-existent sex life. Apparently, he hardly touched her throughout their marriage. She feels that if her husband touched her often, they probably wouldn’t be divorced.
Being neglected by her husband even made her question her reason for living.
Making a comeback from no intimacy in marriage from husband
It was actually her husband who brought up the topic of divorce.
Even so, Alice couldn’t believe that her marriage ended in failure. She is grateful to her psychiatrist friend, who helped her understand the circumstances of her relationship and get back on her feet.
Alice Chan is stronger than ever since her comeback to show business in 2012. She starred in the highly acclaimed “Deep in the Realm of Conscience”, starring Stephen Ma and Kenneth Ma.
She’s was also nominated for this year’s TVB’s Best Actress award.
Many times, marital problems arise from lack of communication. A sexless marriage can be a big issue and one that a wife or husband should be able to discuss with their partners. Don’t let this happen to your marriage.
7 ways to handle marital problems
Fighting is stressful, but ignoring the problem is just as bad – here’s how to handle marital problems, especially no intimacy in marriage from husband. | Source: Shutterstock
What should you do when you can’t work out your marital problems? Marriage problems should be discussed with your spouse and should never be ignored. It is okay to feel hopeless and distressed, but you can do something about it, together. Here’s 7 steps to tackle the issue with your husband:
1. Stay realistic
Always keep in mind that relationships come with problems, even when you’re married. A marriage without problems can mean both husband and wife are living separate lives, possibly hiding things from one another – causing deeper conflict in future. The both of you need also to have realistic expectations of each other. Don’t expect too much, you and hubby are only human. Crazy expectations only lead to a miserable marriage.
2. Confront the problem
Don’t ask why there’s a problem. Instead, discuss how to deal with the problem. When there are misunderstandings or conflicts, speak with your partner as soon as possible. It’s even better if you can put an end to a conflict before tomorrow comes, but the both of you should be in a calm and sound state of mind.
3. A marriage is a team
It takes two to nurture a loving relationship. No marriage can last if only one side is putting in all the effort. It’s not just you, but your husband as well should be exhausting all possible ideas and solutions to resolve a problem. Yes, it is challenging but it becomes so much more fulfilling when the two of you put your heads together and walk through life’s tough challenges as a team.
4. Renew your vows
As the years go by after marriage, life’s constant challenges can make you and hubby forget the commitments you promised each other – loyalty, fidelity and trust.
Recall how the two of you first met. Set a date to where you held your wedding, or return to the place you first met. Do things you always did together before when you were still dating, even if its just calling to say, “I love you”.
5. Communicate respectfully
It’s important to have an open and respectful communication with your spouse, to know how each other thinks and feels. When the two of you open up and truly speak what’s in your heart, you learn about each other more.
Highlight your own mistakes first when you talk about problems. Then, give your partner a chance to talk about or realise what he’s done wrong. Stop playing the blame game, it will lead to nowhere.
6. Empathy
The two of you can have similar interests, but the reality is both you and hubby grew up in different backgrounds and experiences in life. Don’t expect him to show his love for you the same way that you do (and vice versa). Be understanding to your spouse’s differences.
7. Persevere through challenges
When the two of you constantly fight, there comes a time when the idea of divorce will float in your mind. Instead, how about trying to persevere through the challenges of married life? A good marriage isn’t something by the book, it depends on many factors and how each couple works.
When nothing else seems to work, don’t be afraid to speak to your partner about going for marriage counselling. It’s a great avenue to identify the issues and conflicts in the relationship. Counselling discusses ways to work through them and ultimately regain trust and love.
Source: Stomp, Ministry of Social and Family Development
Read also: Jacelyn Tay divorces her husband of 8 years