12 New Year's resolutions I wish my toddler would make

Between saying “put that vase down” and getting our toddlers to sit down to attempt completing a full sentence, we can be hopeful that they will make some promises for 2016. Here’s what I secretly wish MY kid’s list would look like:

#1 First goal of 2016: Sleep more.

#2 Wipe my nose on the sofa (and mummy’s blouse) less.

#3 Pick up my Lego after play, so mummy and daddy won’t step over it every 3 minutes.

#4 Work on my appearance. Less custard in my hair, more socks that match.

#5 Understand that knives and ballpoint pens can’t be in my life the way I need them to be right now. I’m leaving them in 2015.

#6 Cut out the excess in my life. Top of the list (as mum would like), the crazy amount of times I ask “why?” in an hour.

#7 Accept that my older brother is also part of the family. Trying to kick him in his sleep isn’t going to make him vanish.

#8 Work on my trust issues. When my dad tells me a power-slam on my little brother is not a good idea, I’m going to take their word for it.

#9 Fix my diet. Why I can’t live on bread and nutella beats me, but I’ll find out if eating pasta with that red sauce is as earth-shattering as my mum makes it out to be.

#10 Quit a bad habit. I will stop creating a mess under the coffee table, and blaming the dog for it.

#11 Master the art of sharing. When my friends come over for a playdate, I should not lock myself in the room alone with my favourite game on Wii.

#12 Bid farewell to the remote control. It has caused my family so much drama. Well, it may be ambitious, but 2016 is going to be all about pushing my limits.

Written by

Pavin Chopra