A mother couldn't hide her sense of entitlement when she demanded that her child is included in a free swimming class. And her responses show that negative ways to deal with stress are unpleasant for everyone involved.
A post on popular internet forum Reddit is going viral for all the wrong reasons. Garnering over 110,000 upvotes, the original poster, /u/pretent_its_witty, uploaded on December 18 a Whatsapp conversation exchange between themselves and a mother, saved as "Aunty" on their phone, on the subreddit Choosing Beggars.
What happens when you use negative ways to deal with stress? An overflow of entitlement
Identified by Reddit users as happening in India, the original poster was approached by a woman inquiring about the free swimming lessons.
While the initial exchange was pleasant, Aunty's tone quickly became rude (text in white boxes is from Aunty, text in green boxes is from the Swimming Instructor).
The swimming instructor couldn't accept her son that day and informed Aunty the next session would be in 3 days' time. But she wouldn't take no for an answer, instead wanting the lessons to be held on her own terms.
The swimming instructor remained civil throughout and calmly responded to the Aunty, explaining that she already cancelled today's class and 1-to-1 swimming sessions with her son aren't available today.
Aunty then uses this against the instructor and claims that her child suffers from anxiety, which is why he needs private sessions.
Despite firmly and explicitly explaining why she won't run today's session, the Aunty decided that the best course of action is to be rude. And after making derogatory remarks, proceeds to ask what time she can drop off her son.
At this point, the swimming instructor stopped replying to Aunty (who would blame her?) But that serves to make Aunty even more irate, launching into a tirade accusing the instructor of being privileged, and to even pay Aunty money for running free swimming classes.
And other Reddit users did not take too kindly to Aunty.
5 different effects that negative ways to deal with stress have on your mental health
Reading through this entire exchange was cringeworthy. Imagine running a free swimming class, and someone is rude to you for not immediately having a 1-to-1 session!
Someone commented in the original Reddit post "no wonder her son has anxiety." No one ever said parenting was easy! But when we become stressed, that might leak out and cause our children to also be stressed. On the other hand, if our children are experiencing anxiety and we don't manage these worries properly, this can in turn also increase our levels of stress.
To this end, let's avoid these common negative ways to deal with stress.
1. Being overbearing and authoritative
As parents, our role is to raise our children the best way we know how. However, being head of the house can lead to losing sight of caring for the people we love the most - our children. By dictating everything they do, we don't give our children a chance to explore what their strengths and weaknesses are. Instead, this can lead to normal everyday worries all children have becoming more serious anxiety disorders that affect their social settings and academic performance.
2. Caring TOO much and not letting your children become independent
All parents will be overprotective of their children. But this natural instinct can actually become overwhelming for our children when we become stressed reacting to their problems. To avoid any harm coming to our children, we often set up buffers and implement plans to protect them as best as possible.
Continuing habits that help you feel like your child is safer can actually lead to the child having depression and anxiety later in life. Avoiding these types of habits, such as bed-sharing, can reduce the likelihood of your children experiencing mental health issues while growing up.
Instead, parents can slowly give their children a chance to problem solve tricky situations themselves (when they're at an appropriate age). We need to be the parent who understands, supports and (if asked) advises, without ever showing that their problems make us feel anxious too.
3. Not managing expectations
Encouraging children to have goals is great. But pushing them to meet these goals no matter what can induce anxiety because of high expectations. Instead, aim towards realistic goals that your child will enjoy working on.
4. Not talking about stressful issues
Although it's often memed and joked about, the fear of getting bad grades in school is very real. Anxiety over academic performance can lead to an anxiety disorder if children don't feel safe to share their feelings.
Encourage your children to open up to whoever they trust, like their teachers or yourselves. Talking about their feelings is a liberating experience for young children, especially when you remind them that you will love them unconditionally.
5. Not getting enough sleep
Kids always try to stay up as late as possible. Although it's a cool thing to them, sleep loss is detrimental to your child’s health, emotions, memory and academic success. Ensuring that your child gets a good night’s sleep is important for his or her verbal creativity, performance in school, the ability to concentrate better and problem-solving skills.
Don't let stress get you down to the point where you act like this Aunty and start scolding people for no reason! Avoid these negative ways to deal with stress and start enjoying a more positive mindset for yourself and your children!
Also read:
Singapore mumpreneur shares 5 tips to beat new mum stress!
Anxiety in Singapore children: Is it actually good for them?
9 Things about anxiety that you need to know as a parent