When we encounter negative self-talk in kids, we can’t help but feel heartbroken. Kids making negative statements about themselves is distressing and disturbing. It’s also painful to know that your children feel bad about themselves.
In this article, you’ll read:
- Negative self-talk in kids
- Reasons why kids think negatively of themselves
- How to respond to negative self-talk in children
Negative Self-talk in Kids
It is heartbreaking to think that your kids feel bad about themselves. They sometimes make negative statements about themselves.
Sometimes, we tend to hear them say heartwrenching phrases like:
“I am so stupid.” “Nobody likes me.” “You hate me. You don’t want me in this family.”
Hearing these sentences can be very distressing and disturbing for parents. However, keep in mind that it is also a complex phenomenon that is hard to comprehend.
We can never truly understand our children’s brains. We can’t exactly pinpoint why they say such alarming thoughts in passing.
Always keep in mind that in these moments, your kids rarely mean what they say. They are in a highly-charged and emotional state. With their age in mind, it can be very difficult to experience and process.
Parents need to know and be patient with the struggles and difficulties their children face. In that way, you may determine what they need and help them work through it.
Reasons Why Kids Engage in Negative Self-Talk
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Your child can be filled with vast and complex emotions expressed in extreme statements. These are some reasons why they engage in negative self-talk:
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The child makes self-deprecating remarks to convey anger
Children usually voice out negative statements out of anger. One of the most frequent complaints among children is being constrained in what they like and want to do. When adults place limitations on them, they frequently become enraged.
At times like this, words like “You just hate me” are the usual words that come out of their mouths. When you back off, your child can make that statement as a method to get what they want.
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Worrying their parents has been linked to receiving a lot of attention
Nowadays, this kind of dynamic is pretty common. Some kids are struggling with complicated feelings and experiences. Because of that, they tend to become manipulative.
They find and use different ways to gain a lot of attention from people around them, especially their parents. Some of their common alarming statements include “I wish I was dead” or “I’m so stupid.”
These phrases often trigger a big reaction from parents and guardians. They also do this as a means of connecting and feeling special in a twisted manner.
How to Respond to Negative Self-Talk in Kids
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You may not know what exactly is going through a child’s mind, but you can still help them. Just remember to respond to their situation sensitively you’ll be good to go.
More importantly, see to it that your child is heard and his feelings are validated and not judged. You must accept what they feel and understand their emotions. Here are some tips you can follow:
- Avoid minimizing your child’s feelings
It is not a parent’s job to get rid of or protect their children from difficult emotions or situations. Instead, it’s better to help them effectively cope with their feelings.
Keep in mind that avoiding or downplaying their sentiments restricts this approach. Children are less inclined to communicate their experiences and emotions with us when their sentiments are suppressed.
- Speak to the underlying feelings you think your child is trying to express
You can help them understand their feelings and express their emotions by relating to them.
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Validate and seek to understand all feelings
Accepting and mirroring your child’s feelings helps him regain control of their anxiousness. It will also help him in keeping their calm.
Aside from that, it will enable him to analyse his emotions and experiences with more clarity.
A lot of things still need to be addressed. However, trying your best to understand all the feelings could help him know that he can move on. With this, they can learn to stop themselves from using alarming phrases to express their emotions. They can also use this to understand their issues properly.
- Help your child reflect on their experiences to gain new perspectives
When your child feels like you acknowledge their feelings, they are more likely to be open to hearing your ideas. In doing so, you may help your child develop self-awareness.
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Seek professional help when needed
Take it seriously when your child persists in making disturbing statements like self-harm. You may call a helpline for immediate help and quickly connect with a therapist.
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