Most narcissistic parents remain unaware of their toxic parenting methods. Their pride also often pushes them to ignore how their self-centred actions reflect negatively on their children.
Every parent has their way of parenting their children. Some are authoritarian, authoritative, and permissible while others are uninvolved or neglectful.
You can never lecture someone on how they should manage their children. It is because most parents do things, especially when it comes to parenting, the things that work best for their family.
There are lots of approaches when it comes to parenting a child. Even in fulfilling roles as a parent, the word perfect does not exist. In truth, no parenting style is perfect. This often leaves families to combine or adjust a few styles to accommodate the emotional needs of everyone in their family.
Unfortunately, narcissistic parents don’t show care or attention to how their family feels about their actions. They only aim to satisfy what they see fit. Moreover, their selfish goals make their family turn toxic in the future.
7 Qualities We See in Narcissistic Parents
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Experts found negative impacts of narcissism in family relationships. It could adversely affect the parent-children relationship, especially if the one suffering from narcissism is the parent.
There is more about narcissistic parenting that you should know if you are raising a child. Being a narcissistic parent is one of the most unhealthy ways of raising children.
You might know, or you can be a narcissistic parent and not realise it. Here are the seven qualities you can notice in narcissistic parents:
Playing Favourites
It is common for narcissistic parents to keep their power by playing favourites. It often happens when there has more than one child. They tend to focus and favour a child with excessive compliments by speaking negatively to the other. Additionally, comparing the achievements of each of your children is also playing favourites.
Heartbreakingly, it is a kind of parenting style which could make kids feel uncomfortable and psychologically unsafe. Playing favourites at home may cause your child to do the same with their future family.
Making the Child Their Caregiver
Taking good care of children is one of every parent’s primary roles and responsibilities. However, narcissistic parents want the other way around. They would like and expect their children to be their caregivers.
Most narcissistic parents can be pretty manipulative. They expect their kids to provide care and support for them, especially later in life, because they are the ones who provide them with all the things they possess.
Constantly Shifting the Blame to the Kids
It is common for narcissistic people to always aim for perfection; they always feel the need to be perfect. As a result, narcissistic parents tend to blame their children whenever they commit mistakes.
It is saddening that kids with narcissistic parents would eventually suffer from mental and emotional damage. They are more likely to believe that every negative thing they hear from their parents is true and will begin to blame themselves.
Emotionally Reactive
Narcissistic parents are commonly emotionally reactive but tend to shame their children’s emotions. It is common for people like them to be aggressive and type who has anger issues, especially when they are frustrated or disappointed.
In relation to this, they feel uncomfortable with emotions. As a result, they shame their kids into not expressing their feelings.
Seeing Children as a Source of Validation
It is common for parents with narcissistic traits to be loud and proud. They would always want to flaunt, especially when their kids achieve something.
They tend to brag on social media or bring up their kids’ success in conversations. Heartbreakingly, they tend to use their child as a tool to fulfil their need for themselves.
Unable to Set Healthy Boundaries
Toxic parents can be a bit invasive. Parents like them typically do not consider the feelings of their children. They would ask and do whatever they want without thinking if their child is comfortable.
If they keep pestering their kids about every little thing, their children might end up struggling with boundaries in the long run. In truth, kids raised by narcissistic parents often develop insecurities and constantly need validation from people around them.
Putting Personal Needs Before Their Children’s
The common trait shared between narcissistic people is selfishness. It is common for them to expect their children to make all the sacrifices for them. In that way, they will be free to do whatever they want to do in their life.
There’s nothing wrong with being selfish for yourself. However, you need to control this trait by making an effort not to let it interfere with the people you care about.
Good and Bad Parenting
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Good parenting is an extensive concept. It encompasses multiple aspects of your and your child’s life as a family.
In relation to this, good parenting is related to an accumulation of actions and interactions between you and your kids. It is a kind of parenting which aims to help develop children’s good character traits. It includes independence, honesty, self-direction, self-control, kindness, and cooperation.
In addition, this kind of parenting style also requires empathy and compassion. On the other hand, the type of parenting that causes children to experience a lack of parental support stems from neglect.
Children commonly do not receive sufficient emotional, psychological, intellectual, and physical support from their parents. This also applies to moments when a parent prioritises their selfish needs over their children.
One good example of toxic parenting is how narcissistic parents treat their children. They usually lack in willingness to set aside their need for the sake of their children.