Caroline arrived on 2 February this year with only one intent: to foster a grandmother-grandson relationship with Levi, my son whom everyone has read and watched grow in various series of articles with theAsianparent.com, has been under our diligent care for the past year and has morphed into the most delightful baby lion at home (hear him roar!).
Caroline’s arrival was timed to coincide with Michele’s return to work after a year off from maternity leave.
Grandma Power!
Frankly, Michele and I have missed Caroline. Almost a year ago on 31 January, she was greeted by a very pregnant Michele and I and had remained in Australia for 5 months before returning to Singapore. The poor grandmother’s face was plastered in tears on the day she left as she couldn’t bear leaving her first grandson whom she has nursed since his birthday.
This time, she was greeted by a crawling chubba who has been sitting in his soiled nappy for the last 2 hours. In our eagerness to leave home we had forgotten to pack nappies so the poor dude was not only tired, grumpy but quite the stinky bum too.
I too, was extremely irate as Melbourne’s public parking is rated as one of the world’s most expensive. At $12/hr and a maximum of $50/day, I was more concerned with the passing minutes than Caroline’s impending arrival.
My brow was unknit within an hour of arriving home however. For the first time in many, many months the burden…correction…responsibility of nappy changing was passed onto Caroline. It felt strange not to partake in it as Michele and I have been the only ones privy to his naked bum.
Then the unthinkable happened: I sat down in front of the telly and did not get off the couch for 45 minutes.
45 Minutes!
45 minutes! One could watch 2 entire episodes of Friends with a toilet break thrown in within this time but try getting settled in a household with a growing child and I’ll be lucky to get even ten! If we weren’t closely monitoring Levi’s whereabouts as he crawls off speedily to some distant galaxies, it’s tending to his needs such as laundry, prepping his food or just showing him we’re still around.
45 minutes! Don’t let her age fool you. Caroline’s an accomplished mother and has worked in child care her entire life. She’s an expert in dealing with naughty children, fussy monsters and insomniac brats. All this time while I was being swallowed by the couch, she had already cleaned and changed Levi, slobbered all over him with her kisses and shadowed him like a bad smell.
45 minutes! Caroline’s also a great cook. Her maternal instincts kicked in upon arriving in the kitchen and she performed a quick assessment of the pathetic state of our pantry and gave me marching orders to purchase some of her staples. I could not believe I had remained in the couch for this long so it was a welcome change to get off the couch.
Grandparents Are Nicer
There’s a saying that goes ‘Grandparents do the same as parents only nicer.’ As a father of an almost one-year-old, let me be the judge of that.
Levi has learnt a stern ‘urh urh’ from our lips means ‘do not do that’. I prefer to complement that with an unwavering forefinger which must make me look more like a principal. As a result, Levi bursts into tears whenever I do that. Michele accomplishes the same without the finger and Levi, sans tears, is none the wiser.
Caroline on the other hand prefers the more traditional way of stepping in between the boy and the object of his affection (the flight of stairs, the 42″ television, a sliding door). If that still doesn’t work, she simply removes him away from said article. Like a dog with a bone Levi would return to said article again and all Caroline does is rinse and repeat. Levi gets it eventually.
Michele and I can’t be bothered though. We’re already in our early 30’s and are already nursing a long day at work, crows feet and an unflattering image of ourselves when we look into the mirror. We can’t be stuffed chasing an Energizer bunny.
Much to the chagrin of Michele, Caroline has effectively broken an eating routine the moment she arrived. Michele’s not a fan of distracting Levi with toys or finger foods while feeding and we’ve never allowed that in our home. Which makes meal time a difficult 30 minutes as the war between father/mother vs son wages on.
Caroline changed all that with some finger foods lovingly spread out in front of Levi while she feeds him. As much as we want to disagree, it does make feeding times much easier (and messier) but at least Levi gets fed and we finish our meals.
Underwear!
I returned from home two weeks ago to find my laundry in the sun.
Here’s something I’m still wrapping my head around. My mother-in-law doing my laundry and hanging my sundries for all to see.
As Michele and I have lived together for almost six years now, I’ve always done my own laundry and it’s bizarre to find a woman – much less my mother-in-law – switching to maternal mode and offering to clean.
To compound matters I return home the next day to find my entire wardrobe lovingly folded, arranged and stacked. Not only has Caroline folded my underwear, she proceeded to arrange them to her own tastes.
Honestly I don’t know what to make of it. Where does it stop? I do have my reservations about my underwear being folded but I will be first to admit walking into my wardrobe with clothes neatly arranged instead of strung loose all over does bring a smile to my face.
I’ll even admit to thanking Caroline for it. I even gave her a hug and asked her to stay permanently (if only it means my laundry is always neatly done).
Conclusion
It’s often noted wives hate their mothers-in-law but the reverse is often more true.
Caroline has no expectations of me and my best guess is she doesn’t see a need to impose herself in our home as I’m the man of the house. She’ll be putting up with us for another month before deciding whether to return to Singapore. A lot of it hinges on our decision to put Levi into childcare within the next few weeks and my lovely mother-in-law has concerns she’ll be bored at home.
But that is another story.