Although it is difficult in the extreme to imagine a mother wishing any of their children dead, this mother from Perth wished her son were.
In her blog post, Isabella Darch confessed that death would be better for her son Bede who suffers daily due to an aggressive brain cancer he had been diagnosed with at four-months-old.
Bede was given only weeks to live, but he defied odds and had recently celebrated his third birthday.
But this doesn’t make Isabella feel any better.
Photo credit: GoFundMe
“The truth is I want my son to die,” she said. “I’m tired. He is tired. I want peace for him, rest.”
Bede has undergone 9 months of intense chemotherapy in an effort to extend his time, said a Mama Mia article.
He is also blind, unable to speak, and his central nervous system doesn’t function as it should which leaves him screaming, hitting his head and needing medication.
“He will have no more growth, no more moments tenderly reaching out to his brother, laying next to his sister,” Isabella said.
“He wont squawk away at his dad anymore, he won’t let me kiss him in the way only I can.”
Despite the difficulty they’re facing, the family also remain grateful in the face of horrific circumstance.
“We go on trying to be present, trying to soak in every single moment, utterly mindful of how precious each one is while we spend sunny Saturday afternoons choosing toddler sized coffins that would never, could never hold all that our son is.”
Photo credit: GoFundMe
Bede’s cancer is progressing, his latest scans revealed. His outlook doesn’t look good.
In the face of these difficulties, Isabella is still trying to find little victories in his son’s condition.
“Bede has grown more in the last few months than he has in the past few years and I am reminded that often despite the agitation, Bede is the fullest version of himself when his tumour is growing,” she said.
“He is laughing fuller and deeper than ever before unable to catch his breath as the giggles pour out of him.”