Having one of your children die is almost an impossible thought. That's why for one mother, her life was shattered after two of her triplets died.
"The guilt overwhelmed me, while my sadness consumed me"
Stacey Skrysak didn't expect that her life would take such a dramatic turn.
She shares, "I was happily married with a successful career…life was good. But, it only takes an instant for your life to turn upside down. That happened to me in 2013, when two of my triplets died within two months of their birth."
Stacey added that while people reached out to offer their support, she felt like shutting herself off from the world.
"I didn’t want to explain the traumatic events that unfolded and I didn’t want to talk about my children... But in the end, two of my three children had died, their premature bodies simply born too early to survive. The guilt overwhelmed me, while my sadness consumed me."
"I am not alone"
Eventually, she felt that she couldn't dwell on the past anymore. She checked her voicemail, email, and other messages, and was surprised at the number of people just like her, who lost a loved one.
"Strangers shared their experience of having to bury a child. Childhood friends reached out to me to share their devastating losses from miscarriage and stillbirth. I quickly realized I am not alone."
She found her solace through an entire community of parents that also experienced grief in their life. Knowing the stories of the other parents made her feel that her grief was normal and natural.
Stacey has also found a new purpose in life, to be there for other parents that are going through the things that she went through before.
"These days I find myself in a good place; full of happiness and love as I look at my beautiful daughter while finding ways to honour and remember her brother and sister who passed. My life is completely different from what I pictured a decade ago, but in a way, it’s better than I ever could have imagined."
Grieving is never easy
Grieving for a child is something that a parent would never ever want to experience. However, if you or a loved one has lost a child, it's important to know what steps you can do so that you can cope with the loss.
- Write your feelings down. Write what you feel; if you're angry, or sad, write it down. It helps you release your feelings and slowly accept your loss.
- Talk to people about it. It's one of the hardest things to do, but sharing your experiences with anyone who cares to listen will make you feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulder.
- You can join a support group for grieving parents. A lot of parents find comfort through sharing their loss. There are a lot of support groups consisting of parents that went through the same experience as you, and they will be more than happy to be with you during your grief.
- Therapy can be helpful. If you feel that the grief is too overwhelming, or if it's affecting your daily life, you can always choose to go to therapy.
Sources: aamft.org, community.today.com
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