The world is coming closer as more and more people from different countries, ethnicities and backgrounds are coming together. This is particularly true in metropolitan cultures around the world.
This stands true in Singapore as well, which remains one of the most cosmopolitan countries globally providing space to anyone who can contribute. For years, a mixed race Singapore is how the world has seen the island. But the closer we get, the chances of causing friction increases as well.
That could be one of the reasons why mixed race couples in Singapore have been at the receiving end of a spate of attacks over the past couple of months. While there will always be those who refuse to accept change and progress, mixed race couples of Singapore are living their best lives.
theAsianparent recently caught up with four such mixed race couples in Singapore who share why they got married despite being from different races and why love conquers all.
1. Roshni Mahtani Cheung and Darius Cheung
Image courtesy: Roshni Mahtani Cheung
Profession: Group CEO & Founder, theAsianparent + Founder and CEO, 99.co
Married: 6 years
Children: 1
Reasons we love our mixed race marriage:
Darius says, “There is no reason. It’s not about race. Would have married Roshni regardless of race.”
Roshni says, “I love being in a mixed-race marriage because it’s fun having double the amount of festivals to celebrate. We celebrate Chinese New Year, Mid Autumn Festival, Dragon Boat Festival, Diwali and Holi. It’s a great chance to learn about each of the customs, traditions and expose my daughter to history.”
She further adds, “It’s really fascinating to watch my daughter’s physical features morph as she grows older. Her features are also very distinct so we can immediately attribute it to either papa’s side genes or mama’s side genes. For example, her cute button nose is clearly from papa and her wavy brown hair from mama.”
2. Jamielene Joan Fernandez and Velmurugan s/o Bala Krishna
Image courtesy: Jamielene Joan Fernandez
Profession: Curriculum writer and Birth Doula + Training Professional
Married: 14 years
Children: 3
Reasons we love our mixed race marriage:
Velmurugan says, “We care for each other a lot. We are physically attracted to each other and we can stand each other for some or most parts of the day.”
Jamie says. “He dances well, makes me laugh, has an excellent command of English (that turns me on). Yes, his pheromones definitely work for me. He’s in touch with his feelings, and till today we still say our ‘Please and Thank yous.’ We’re appreciative and supportive of each other’s goals in life and he’s very very involved in our children’s lives.”
Advice for couples:
Jamie says, “I think it’s important to talk about things and have an open line of communication. How you feel about certain decisions, traditions, cultural norms and tolerance isn’t enough, make an effort to understand the culture!”
“I’d actually ask Vel’s family members why they do certain things, get invited to certain events or ask for recipes on how to cook certain dishes prominent in his culture. He would do similar things: Ask me questions about my religion or go Google it (He’s Hindu and I’m Roman Catholic),” she adds.
“With the children, decide on things together. What is the protocol – are they going to be immersed in both cultures? How? Are there any hard boundaries for your partner? These are important conversations to have I feel. It’s also important to have a lifelong learning mentality, that you’re learning about your partner’s culture and traditions together with your children. That helps too,” says the mum-of-three.
3. Alia Demelda Sharma and Haizad Imram
Image courtesy: Alia Demelda Sharma
Profession: Business Owner + Community Psychiatric Nurse
Married: 5 years
Children: 2
Reasons we love our mixed race marriage:
Alia says, “I fell in love with his caring nature, talent and most of all the way he loves me.”
“Because of our similarities, she loves me wholeheartedly, and she brings out the best in me,” says Haizad.
Advice for couples:
“Love concurs all. Regardless of what people say about your relationship, always stay true to who you love and how you are loved,” advises Alia.
4. Lena and Chris Pereira
Image courtesy: Lena Pereira
Profession: Financial Consultant + Sales Manager
Married: 5 years
Children: 5 (Blended family)
Reasons we love our mixed race marriage:
Chris says, “She’s demure and loving. Non-judgemental and very caring.”
Lena, who is a financial consultant says, “He makes me laugh and finds joy in little things. He challenges me out of my comfort zone.”
Advice for couples:
“Who cares what they think or say. Do what’s best for you and filter the rest out,” says Lena.
We couldn’t agree more! More power to these couples who are paving the way for a future that is progressive, open, and truly global in every sense of the word.
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