Have you ever been so absorbed in your career, raising children and checking off an endless inventory of commitments that nurturing your marriage ends up at the bottom of the list? An even greater danger lies in putting your relationship on autopilot while you attend to a myriad of obligations, hoping you can still experience a thriving marriage.
One of the best ways to ensure your marriage remains strong is through playful activity. The enjoyable times we spend together are the lifeblood of a marriage. But if we never laugh and play with our spouse, emotional connection and intimacy can fade.
Date Night
Married couples’ date nights need some smart planning, especially with kids in the equation. Making regular date nights a priority can work wonders for your marriage. Sometimes we forget that we need to pursue and woo our spouse, like we did when we first met. Act like you’re trying to get a second date! Dress up. Be polite. Turn off your mobile devices. Compliment each other. Be affectionate. And protect your date night from conflict! If an argument erupts, agree to talk about the issue at a later time.
Of course, we hope you’ll see such a great value in having a date night that it becomes part of your life as a couple. We’re convinced that this habit will powerfully work to strengthen and enrich your marriage. Here are some steps and pointers to get you on your way to great dates with your spouse.
Step 1: Be fun and be curious
As you’re driving or eating, ask questions like the ones below. Don’t feel as if you need to answer all of the questions; instead, use them as a way to update your knowledge or learn something new about your spouse.
1. What are your top five favorite movies of all time?
2. What are your three favourite restaurants and your favourite menu items at each?
3. If you could have any superhero power, what would it be? Why?
4. What would be your dream vacation with me? Describe in detail where we would go and what we would do.
5. In what ways would you like me to romance you?
6. If you had to change your profession and do something completely different, what career would you choose?
7. How would you describe your dream house?
8. If we could live anywhere, where would it be? Why?
9. What is your ideal date night or favorite date night activity?
10. In our marriage, what do I do that helps you to feel loved?
Step 2: Relax and unwind
After your activity, find a quiet place for dessert and/or coffee to slow down and emotionally connect over good conversation. Ask the following three questions, being sure to keep your responses positive, encouraging and uplifting.
- What was your favorite part of our time together?
- What’s the one thing you learned about me that you didn’t know before?
- How can we make sure that laughing and playing together are a regular part of our marriage?
Step 3: Home sweet home
As you drive home, spend time planning your next date. Remember, be intentional about investing in your marriage – there’s no cruise control setting. Once you get home, however, it’s up to you what happens next. Have a great adventure!
Feel free to share with us what you do on date nights with your spouse; we’d love to hear from you!
Used with permission from Focus on the Family Singapore. For more information on family life resources and workshops, visit www.family.org.sg.