The loss of a loved one can impact us in many ways. Though Sheila Sim was too young to comprehend everything following the death of her brother, it did influence her.
The 37-year-old model-actress confessed that she resented doctors for a period of time as she felt that they had lied to her.
On the latest episode of the meWATCH talkshow Hear U Out, Sheila said: "I was very upset because the doctors said I could save him but there were complications after the bone marrow transplant, so his condition worsened.
"For a really long time, I was very upset and didn't like to see a doctor. I felt doctors were all liars."
However, when she grew older, she realised that they had done all they could.
She explained: "I realised the doctor had done his best. Given the technology then and all the help he could offer, he'd done his best. Such is life. A donor's bone marrow may be incompatible with a recipient's bone marrow. The doctor couldn't foresee the complications.
"I let go of my resentment after coming to terms with that."
Sheila's brother died from leukaemia at the young age of 14 and she had donated her bone marrow to him in the hopes of saving him.
She was only nine at that time.
Sheila said she thought the donation could save his life because her parents and the doctor told her that. "My parents asked me if I was willing to be his donor. Of course I was willing if it could save my brother's life."
Relationship improved after his diagnosis
Like most siblings, Sheila and her brother fought often and they "didn't really get along". But after he fell ill, he "seemed to have grown up overnight", she said.
Sheila shared: "His attitude changed. He became a caring brother... The moment he woke up after the bone marrow transplant, he asked how I was doing. He also received many fruit baskets and he asked my mother to give me some grapes. I was too young to understand everything but in retrospect, I found his gesture very touching."
Her brother also remained cheerful right to the end and he would try to entertain Sheila.
For example, his hair was falling out because of the chemotherapy but he would pull it out and pass it off as a magic trick whenever the family visited.
She said: "When he suffered from oedema, he offered to show me something interesting. He asked me to press his hand. It caused an indentation when I pressed it. I remember all that... I treated it as a game then. He was making me laugh. It was rather funny.
"After growing up, I understood that death is permanent, not transient. I'll never see him again after his death. I didn't understand that then."
This article was first published on AsiaOne and republished on theAsianparent with permission.
Lead image source screengrab from meWATCH / Hear U Out.
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