Chill mums, however, do things a little bit differently and after asking the chillest of the chill out there for their insight, we realised there is a whole lot to learn.
Being chill isn’t easy when it comes to motherhood (or anytime for that matter because, well, LIFE). But there are things to glean from the calmest, coolest, and seemingly most collected mums out there.
Here’s a secret — every mum is stressed about something at least some of the time. So do not put the most minuscule amount of mum guilt on yourself for feeling any ounce of stress. What these mamas have shared are ways they have let go of some of the control and just let it be. In doing so, they created a more laid back parenting environment with a little less stress for their lives. And sure, not every one of these tips will work for you, but some may very well change your life for the better. Plus, no judgement — mamas are just doing the best they can.
1. They don’t stress about food
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“Dinner doesn’t have to be a production,” said Tiffany K. “I tell my kids, If you are hungry eat. If it’s cereal, it’s cereal. Also, if you don’t like what I made, you are welcome to make a sandwich.”
Stana W. also shared, “Never force anyone to eat anything.” So if you have a picky eater, encouragement is great, but forcing … no go. See Tiffany’s tip on cereal for dinner if necessary.
2. They let their kids roam
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“I have joked for years that my kids are feral because I gave them so much freedom in running around doing whatever they wanted in the village. Now (they are teenagers and) I am thrilled how autonomous they are,” KT T. said.
Giving your child some (age-appropriate) free-range can be good.
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“Bathing doesn’t happen every day. If they were in the woods all day, covered in big spray, sunscreen or been in the pool then yes, at least a rinse. But often we go a couple of days. And sometimes, even a week,” Stana W. shared.
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“Sometimes my kids completely miss school or camp because we just weren’t feeling it,” Christina V. said. She also added, “We’re usually last to arrive and first to leave at events. We eat potato chips for dinner and some times no dinner at all. I’m pretty sure an alternate for this life choice could be called ‘I suck parenting.'”
We’re going to disagree only with that last sentiment.
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Jen P. shared this with the caveat that her kids are now teenager. “I’m kind of in between. I have high schoolers. I feel like they need to not be attached to their devices all day, but they also need a break.” We think chill mamas of younger kids may also agree that a little screen time is just fine.
And to combine food is with screen time is an okay thing for some chill mums, too. “There are times when my kid needs to watch TV in order to finish her dinner,” Rebecca W. said. “That works for us, and so no one is stressed, and my kid eats a whole dinner!”
6. They don’t have strict bedtimes
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“I’m laid back about summer bedtime,” Sophia B. shared. “Yes, it would be nice if my 5-year-old went to bed at 8pm, but if she wants to catch fireflies and listen to music on the porch until it’s dark outside, then be it!”
8. Age-appropriate content isn’t a worry
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“I’ve never been worried about any of my kids seeing shows or movies with ‘adult’ content (within reason, of course),” Jacqueline B. C. said. “For a few reasons: I come from an acting background, so I’m always conscious of the ‘pretend’ element. Like if there was ever a scary creature or something, I’d find a behind-the-scenes video of the actor getting their zombie makeup done or the CGI process or whatever. With more ‘mature’ subject matter, I always tried to turn it into a teachable moment (even though I hate that term!). My oldest is 17 now and she always says that she’s so glad that I never sheltered her from things … because as she gets older, ‘real life’ isn’t such a shock.”
9. Sometimes anything goes
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Jen T. H. had some simple yet super chill advice. When it comes to what she lets her kids do, her mantra is: “If we’re not gonna die, I say ‘it’s fine.'”
10. They mind their own business
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Sarah M. shared her chill mum tip that is especially relevant for mums of older kids. “I am the chill Mum of adult children whose mantra is MYOB. I listen but never ask.”