Dealing with infidelity in a marriage is never easy, but it’s even more difficult when you throw long-distance into the mix. This was what one anonymous theAsianparent Community user’s situation reported going through:
Your marriage should be you and your spouse’s priority
Outside of marriage, your decisions are dictated by your individual wants and needs, but once you commit to another person, that should all change.
“I think your husband should prioritize your family over career,” wrote Stan O. “Don’t get me wrong, we all need jobs so that we can raise our family. I’m pretty sure that he’ll be able to get work when he comes back.”
To be fair to the husband in this scenario, by traveling back to Singapore every other weekend, he is showing some effort. If that is enough for the couple to rebuild their trust, then that’s well and good. However, if the wife still feels insecure in the relationship and the husband refuses to move back, their marriage could be in danger.
After infidelity, rebuilding trust and learning to forgive is key
“It’s important for both of you to feel secure in your relationship,” wrote Bea G. “If he did that and he won’t move back, how will your relationship work?”
“I suggest that you work out your marriage first,” Stan O. continued. “Yes, he cheated, it’s normal to get mad and paranoid. But, don’t let that be the grounds for divorce. Talk to your husband and ask him sincerely if he really values your family. If he loves you and your children, he will say sorry for what he has done and will try his best to reconcile with you. If you still love him and you also value your family, let there be forgiveness and start anew.”
Communicate your needs. Remember: love your partner, but it’s important that you love yourself
Image source: iStock
“No, you’re not wrong in expecting that he’ll move back to Singapore so you can save your marriage,” wrote Sara C. “It’s well within your rights as a wife. Now, I may not know your entire situation but I think it should be up to him to adjust, not the other way around. After all, he’s the one who messed up.”
We’re not saying that long-distance relationships are doomed to fail, but when one of the parties is unfaithful, it’s difficult to get true reconciliation when you’re physically separated. Talk to your husband about your desire to make your marriage work. He might not agree to it right away, but if he values you and your marriage, he should choose to be with you.