How to be social media savvy parents

Facebook. Twitter. Instagram. Even Pinterest. The world of social media is a world we may as well quit trying to hide from or run away from, because it’s here to stay. And to deny your children access to at least one of these forms of social media is not only asking for trouble, but is like putting a billboard on your forehead that says ‘CLUELESS’.

They will participate

No matter how much control you think you have (short of throwing the computer out the window) of your child’s online activity, most pre-teens and teens will find a way to set up a Facebook page or have Instagram on their phone. But in all reality, it’s not a bad thing.

The benefits of social media

As the mother of a daughter who lives halfway across the country, I am thankful for social media outlets such as Facebook and Skype. These wonderful little inventions allow us to continue to share our lives with one another. And when this same daughter’s husband, who is a Marine serving in Afghanistan, social media helped soothe the pain of being separated by all those thousands of miles.

But there are other benefits to social media. Remember…social media isn’t just for kids. I know hundreds of grandparents who have Facebook. This form of contact allows grandparents to see pictures, ‘talk to’ and stay involved in the lives of their children and grandchildren. Facebook allows anyone and everyone stay connected with other family members and friends who live far away, allows you to share pictures of good times and celebrations with one another and share views and opinions.

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Be a savvy social media parent

You likely have your own social media accounts, but how many of you are ‘friends’ with your children and at least some of their friends? Be honest? I am and we’ve never had any problems with it-even when they were teenagers.

To be a savvy social media parent you need to:

• Insist that you are your child’s ‘friend’-at least until they are out of school and no longer living under your roof
• Don’t stalk your children through social media by commenting and/or questioning everything they say or that someone puts on their wall
• Know your child’s password-at least for those children under the age of 18
• Only access their account if you have REASON TO BELIEVE you should for their safety and well-being
• INSIST on keeping their account secure to the point that it can only be viewed  by official friends and contacts
• Scan through their friends on occasion to make sure there is no one suspicious (predator, etc.)
• Don’t embarrass, scold or discipline your child by means of social media
• Make fun comments on their page from time to time and use your page as a way to brag about the from time to time. It can be a great communication tool. You can even leave them messages from time to time reminding them of how much you love them.

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When to suspect trouble and what to do about it

If your child suddenly becomes secretive about their social media account, suddenly has new friends that you don’t know or has a friend or friends that seem suspicious, it is your responsibility to find out what is going on.

When doing so, do not ask questions in an accusatory manner-simply state your concerns and allow your child to respond. Once they do, take whatever action you think necessary to keep your child safe and protected. Explain the reasons to your child and let them know they are not being punished, but rather protected.

Growing up on Facebook

theAsianparent was at Social Media Week Singapore, moderating the ‘Growing up on Facebook’ session. You can watch the videos below to find out what the current online parenting trends are, why parents love to post on social media sites and finally, how not to jeopardize your online safety with careless posts. A very informative session!

Part one

Part two

Part three