Ideally, parents strive to raise little boys who will be considered nothing short of a true gentleman. That means holding the door open for ladies, walking them home, pulling out their chairs at the dinner table, etc. However, just because your son has shown general courtesy towards women by doing any of the aforementioned acts, doesn’t necessarily mean he respects women.
So how do you raise a sons that truly respects women? By learning from one of the most respectable women you can think of. As a member of the United States Marine Corps, Lt. Col. Kate Germano is no stranger to the extremes of masculinity. She’s been exposed to some of the raunchiest, rudest, and toughest guys you can imagine in her years in the military, and as a result, she knows just how to handle them.
This experienced combat veteran, and chief operating officer of the Service Women’s Action Network says that to raise sons who respect and value women, you have to teach them early. “The easiest way to make sure that boys grow up into men who understand women bring something to the table, is to help them become familiar with the fact that women have leadership – and brains – to offer from the onset of their developmental years,” she says.
Listen up parents, because this high ranking, tough-as-nails marine says you can raise your sons to have true respect for women in 4 simple steps. Check out her advice:
1. Establish historical importance and context
“If there are discussions [about history] going on at home, those discussions have to include women,” says Germano. “For millennia, women have been part of society, part of science, part of math. Unfortunately, we forget that.”
Whenever your kids are learning about the history of something in school, or just discussing famous historical male figures in general, be sure to instil the idea that behind every great man, stands a great woman. Be sure to share the importance of female historical figures as often as you do with male figures. In this way, children learn the value and importance of women in history at an earlier age.
Learn the rest of this marine’s strategy for raising boys who truly respect females! Click next for more
2. Physical appearance is trivial
“Hillary Clinton — this isn’t her first go-around,” says Germano. “And it’s not the first time a woman candidate has run for the presidency. If you look at the press coverage, [there are] many more instances of mentioning her looks; the way she dressed; the tone of her voice. Kids need to be made aware of these unique obstacles that a woman faces every single day.”
What Germano is trying to say, is that women shouldn’t be objectified, and certainly not analysed solely on appearance. Especially when it’s neither here nor there. A woman’s appearance should have no place in determining credibility or success, and the sooner young boys understand that, the sooner they’ll develop intrinsic, deeply rooted respect for women.
3. Call out gender bias
“If you are raising a child and you know they’re not picking behaviour or language as the basis of equality, then discuss it,” says Lt. Germano. “Then make sure other players in the process understand they have a role.”
Germano says ideas and gender biases need to be left at the door if you want to raise respectable/respectful young men. They don’t need to have gender stereotypes like “women in the kitchen” or “women are weak” perpetuated. However, it goes both ways. Parents should also strive to eliminate intentionally derogatory phrases like “crying like a little girl”. These create an idea of strength power and respect, by creating a discrepancy in the two genders. If you wan to raise a son who respects women, heed these words.
4. Be an example of a strong leader
“I think one of the easiest things a dad can do is have a discussion with your child, and have them tell you what they think a leader looks like,” says Lt. Germano. “Then show them a picture of a leader — one woman and one man — and then talk about the characteristics those individuals share. Those traits are not gender-specific, and it can start early.”
As Germano says, being a leader is not exclusive to any one gender. It’s important that your sons understand this and develop respect for women and their various roles in society as early as possible.
[H/T] Fatherly
Be sure to check out theAsianparent Community for more insightful stories, questions, and answers from parents and experts alike. If you have any insights, questions or comments regarding the topic, please share them in our Comment box below.