It may require some adjustment when our spouse makes life-altering decisions. But, the best we can do is support them as they make the transition.
One user on theAsianparent Community wonders how his fellow dad users of the app would react if their wife decides to make the leap from working mum to quitting their job to stay home with the kids.
“Daddies, I want your honest opinion. How (would) you feel if your wife wanted to quit her job and become full time stay-at-home mum?” he asks. “Will you be very stressed to have to handle all the finances? Will you lose respect for her as she is now taking allowance from you?” he asked, adding that dads could reply anonymously if they wanted to.
“I will not let her give it up completely because I know for a fact, she will feel upset secretly if she does.”
One user answered anonymously: ” I won’t be too okay with it just because I know my wife will not be happy as well. She loves her job, worked very hard to get to where she is and takes a lot of pride it. Sure, she loves her family but she loves her job as well and I don’t see anything wrong with that. So my answer is no, I will not let her give it up completely because I know for a fact, she will feel upset secretly if she does.”
One anonymous user says he’d be open to the possibility, granted that he is making enough money to cover their family’s financial needs. “But she must be able to adapt to some of her lifestyle changes if she really wants to be a housewife,” he clarifies. “Not working does not mean that she is lazy or have no values, she attends to my child’s needs and sometimes do house chores even when she’s working full time now and we have a maid. How do i lose respect at my own wife? She is my wife and mother of my child, that itself demands all the respect from me.”
“(The) first thing to ask is can you afford it and live on only one salary? If yes, why not.”
Vincent P. has taken a more practical stance on the issue.”(The) first thing to ask is can you afford it and live on only one salary? If yes, why not. When mum takes care of baby full time, it is better for the baby but sadly, it is not a question of whether you want or not it is a question of whether you can afford it or not.”
Louis T. offers some practical suggestions on how one’s wife can adjust to life as a stay-at-home parent while still remaining productive. “I would recommend that she establishes a network for home business like selling crafts or babysitting or even tuition at home before taking the big leap from corporate world to be a stay-at-home mum. At least there is still a smaller percentage of income rather than no contribution.”
Marriage means loving and supporting one another. So, if your wife decides to ditch the workforce to become a stay-at-home parent, here are some ways to help her cope with this important transition.
1. Give her something to look forward to
Suggest that she join a book club, or take a cooking class. Make sure she finds time to do things she enjoy. Inspire her to pursue her passions.
2. Encourage her to make friends
Connecting with stay-at-home mum groups online or in person will do wonders to develop her self-esteem. Cultivating genuine relationships with other stay-at-home mums will also help her find even more fulfilment in her new role.
3. Find passions to share with the kids
Find activities she enjoys that can be done with your kids. It can be an arts and crafts exercise or going on bike rides or hikes to experience the great outdoors; whatever it is, make sure it’s fun.
4. Help her maintain a healthy perspective
Whenever they feel worn out, remind them what a privilege it is to spend more time with their kids because they won’t be young forever. Some mums can’t afford to leave their jobs. So, being grateful for each day will help them be the best stay-at-home they can be.
Be sure to check out theAsianparent Community for more insightful stories, questions, and answers from parents and experts alike. If you have any insights, questions or comments regarding the topic, please share them in our Comment box below.